Faith: HOPE

A year ago I was in a place of what I felt was no return, I was in a big hole and was struggling to find a way out. However, I wasn't on my own, I had friends around me trying to pull me out, and a four letter word which kept being told to me: HOPE.

Yes I am a Christian but I was struggling at this stage, I felt like God was not with me, but in reflection he was with me but I was trying hard to walk away, but he persevered and kept putting people and things in front of me to help me. And he succeeded, I climbed out of the hole, I have bad days still, but recently more good than bad, and am clinging onto HOPE.

So what is HOPE? In the words of one of  my favourite bloggers Emma Scrivener, this is what HOPE is.

Hope.

Whatever you’re facing; (and even if you’re refusing to face it).

Not a wishy-washy sense that everything will be okay.

Not a feeling or a temperament.

Not a stake in something that can be torn away.

Hope.

Not something you work up by yourself.

Not dependent on those around you.

Not about your house or your health or your happiness.

Hope.

Not for other people.

Not for when you've earned it and ticked off your list.

Not for when the holiday comes or you catch up on sleep.

Not for when you’re better or worse or anywhere but here.

Hope.

This moment.

As you read this.  As you run for your train.  As you make the lunch and drive the car and open the computer and feed the dogs. As you sorrow and as you laugh. Every challenge, every heartbreak, every celebration. Hope.

A fact, not a feeling.

A gift, not a reward.

Hope.

“Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27).

“an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19)

“on Him we have set our hope” (2 Corinthians 1:10).

“And hope does not disappoint.” (Romans 5:5)

Whatever you are facing and whatever you may feel. Now. Tomorrow.  And forever.

Literature: Top 100 Children's Books

The other night on Television, Channel 4 showed the Top 50 Children's books. It was an interesting watch, and reminded me of all the books I read when I was a child and good to see some of the new ones out as well.  I decided to take a look at the Top 100 list  to see how many of the 100 I had read.

Out of the top 50 I have read 29.  That is more than half. And it seems the ones I have read are the older ones, must read some of the newer ones.

I have highlighted the ones I had read in red!

1. Winnie the Pooh (especially The House at Pooh Corner)
   A.A. Milne (illustrated by E H Shepard)
2. The Chronicles of Narnia (especially The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe)
   C.S. Lewis (illustrated by Pauline Baynes)
3. Harry Potter (especially Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone)
   J.K. Rowling
4. Where the Wild Things are
   Maurice Sendak
5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
   Roald Dahl (illustrated by Quentin Blake)
6. The Wind in the Willows
   Kenneth Grahame (illustrated by E H Shepard)
7. The Very Hungry Caterpillar
   Eric Carle
8. A Bear Called Paddington
   Michael Bond (illustrated by Peggy Fortnum)
9. The Gruffalo
   Julia Donaldson (illustrated by Axel Scheffler)
10. The Hobbit
    J.R.R. Tolkien
11. The Cat in the Hat
    Dr Seuss
12. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
    Lewis Carroll (illustrated by John Tenniel)
13. We're Going on a Bear Hunt
    Michael Rosen (illustrated by Helen Oxenbury)
14. Little Women
    Louisa May Alcott
15. Alfie and Annie Rose (especially Dogger)
    Shirley Hughes
16. Pippi Longstocking
    Astrid Lingren (illustrated by Lauren Child)
17. The Tiger Who Came to Tea
    Judith Kerr
18. Finn Family Moomintroll
    Tove Jansson
19. The Complete Tales of Beatrix Potter (especially The Tale of Peter Rabbit)
    Beatrix Potter
20. Journey to the River Sea
    Eva Ibbotson
21. The Story of Tracy Beaker
    Jacqueline Wilson (illustrated by Nick Sharratt)
22. Kensuke's Kingdom
    Michael Morpurgo
23. Goodnight Mr Tom
    Michelle Magorian
24. Rooftoppers
    Katherine Rundell
25. A Monster Calls
    Patrick Ness (illustrated by Jim Kay)
26. The Railway Children
    E. Nesbitt
27. Millions
    Frank Cottrell Boyce
28. The Snowman
    Raymond Briggs
29. The Arrival
    Shaun Tan
30. The Snow Queen
    Hans Christian Andersen
31. Black Beauty
    Anna Sewell
32. Famous Five (especially Five on a Treasure Island)
    Enid Blyton
33. Just William (especially Just William)
    Richmal Crompton
34. Holes
    Louis Sachar
35. Stig of the Dump
    Clive King
36. The Boy in the Dress
    David Walliams (illustrated by Quentin Blake)
37. Charlie and Lola (especially I Will Never Not Ever Eat a Tomato)
    Lauren Child
38. The Jolly Postman
    Allan and Janet Ahlberg
39. Horrid Henry (especially Horrid Henry Strikes it Rich)
    Francesca Simon (illustrated by Tony Ross)
40. How to Train your Dragon
    Cressida Cowell
41. The Wee Free Men
    Terry Pratchett
42. Alex Rider (especially Stormbreaker)
    Anthony Horowitz
43. Mortal Engines (especially Mortal Engines)
    Philip Reeve
44. The Secret Garden
    Francis Hodgson Burnett (illustrated by Inga Moore)
45. Just So Stories
    Rudyard Kipling
46. This is Not my Hat
    Jon Klassen
47. Fortunately, the Milk
    Neil Gaiman (illustrated by Chris Riddell)
48. Charlotte's Web
    E B White (illustrated by Garth Williams)
49. Diary of a Wimpy Kid
    Jeff Kinney
50. Treasure Island
    Robert Louis Stevenson

And from the last 50 I have just read 19 of them..... so all together, out of the top 100 Children's Books, I have only read 48 - not even half of them... quite bad really. There are some which I feel should be on the list but aren't:

The War Horse by Michael Morporgo

James and the Giant Peach: Roald Dahl

I am David: Anne Holm

But overall the list is good. How many have you read?

Flash Fiction: The Death of Spencer

I didn’t mean to do it, it was a complete accident.  All I wanted to do was make sure his home was clean, but it all went wrong.

I felt bad, Spencer was my mate, and he swam around the bowl happily.  He always came to say hello when I came into the room, well, really he was looking for food.  He was a greedy fish, or did he just forget when he had last eaten.  His memory wasn’t so good!

It had been a couple of weeks and his water was dirty. I did not like leaving him in dirty water, was not good for him or kind to him.  His house needed a clean, his water needed changed.  I was tired, but was determined to be a good person and do this task for wee Spencer.  I couldn’t let him keep living in squalor.  Little did I know that this would be fatal for poor wee Spence.  Little did Spencer know that he would never get to swim again in the great big fishbowl that was his home.

It was a complete mistake.  A fatal mistake.  Spencer was taken out of his bowl, he was a hard catch but I managed to catch him.  I put him in a jug, but oops there was no water in said jug so I decided that needed rectified as he would die if he was not in water for a while. Ironic, when you think about it! 

I turn the tap on, Spencer is still in the jug. Spencer jumps.  More water. Spencer stops moving.  Oh crap that’s not cold water, that’s hot water. What have I done?  I turn the tap quickly from hot to cold. “Revive, Spencer, Revive” I shout at the poor wee lifeless fish. He jumps.  I put him back in his bowl full of lots of lovely cold water. He moves a bit more. Looks like he is swimming. Yeah, he’s not dead, I haven’t killed him.

But no, the swimming stops.  Crap.  I have killed him, basically I cooked him, committed fish slaughter to my poor wee innocent defenceless fish. I cried. I was upset. I miss my wee pet.  I miss my wee Spencer.  My heart still hurts. Wherever you are Spencer, swim well pet, swim well! 

Flash Fiction: So Much Promise

“Such a shame. That boy had so much promise”.  Shaking her head, she remembered some of the times she had seen him in the swimming pool.  He was like a dolphin.

Simon swam so fast and barely caused a ripple in the water.  He was a graceful swimmer.  The first time Jan saw him swim, she was amazed and laughed to her friend Jill and said, “is that a boy or a fish?!”  Jan would not have been surprised if when Simon came out of the water, he had gills instead of arms!

By the age of 10, Sion had already won so many medals at school events, galas etc. and he was a sure thing for the Olympics and Commonwealth games when he reached the correct age.  His whole town were proud of him even his fellow school mates – they held him in awe but also felt a bit jealous of him too. But not on wished harm on him.

Why Jan was so devastated when she saw what happened and heard the fateful news.   Jan was walking down the high street, listening to her music thinking about the week ahead, the awful week ahead, when she heard a blood curling scream and tires screeching and burning the road.  Jan ran to see what happened and saw a motorbike lying on the road with the motorcyclist lying on the road a few yards away, his dead black eyes staring back at Jan. He wasn’t wearing a helmet. An error.

Jan nearly vomited at the site before her eyes, so turned towards the Motorcycle to help her focus again. This was when she  wished she had never done so, because they was a huge lump under the bike, and after a closer look, Jan noticed that the lump was not a lump, but it was a boy.  And lying a behind him was an arm – a detached arm.  Again Jan couldn’t not bear this. She turned away again.

Jan was wondering to herself who the boy was, and whether he was alive or dead?  It was then she noticed a woman on the ground crying, totally heartbroken and unable to breathe. No one was with her, so Jan walked towards her, and realised this devastated mother was Mrs Nicholson, the mother of Sam, the dolphin swimmer. 

So many thoughts were swimming around Jan’s head – “why this? why him? Why wee Simon? Why Mrs Nicholson, why her son?”  Jan thought Simon was dead.  She didn’t know what to do, but she did the one thing she would want someone to do if she was in Mrs Nicholson’s shoes, she got down beside Mrs Nicholson and put her arm around her. 

The tears were streaming down her face and the face of Mrs Nicholson, and the screams coming from the women beside her were awful, but eventually they stopped and all Jan could feel beside her was the shuddering of this women sitting beside her, curled in against her, learning on her for comfort and support.  Jan was frozen.

Jan looked up and saw that everyone was standing on the side of the road, watching everything unfold. No one was speaking, just standing and staring.  Jan could not believe this and was about to lash out at them calling them heartless when the sirens of the ambulance came blaring towards her.  Help, at last, she thought. Thank Goodness.

There wasn’t just one ambulance, there were two. One for each victim.  The ambulances stopped and the paramedics rushed out, four of them, two ran towards Simon while two ran towards the cyclist.  

After being with the cyclist for two minutes, Jan was surprised to see him being rolled onto the stretcher - they don’t usually do that so quickly unless the person is dead.  Jan didn’t know what to think, she thought awful for the cyclists parents, but her mind was brought back to Simon very quickly when Mrs Nicholson let a big scream out of her again. Jan turned back towards her quickly expecting for her first dears to be confirmed, that Simon, the dolphin boy was also dead.  But she was to be proved wrong, because Mrs Nicholson had a huge smile on her face, Simon wasn’t dead.

“He’s going to be alright, I have my wee boy back, my wee swimmer. I can’t wait to see him back in the water. I thought I had lost him forever”. Jan smiled back at her, but was also thinking, what about Simon’s arm, does she not see it is not attached to his body anymore. What’s going to happen when she realises that Simon, will not be able to be her wee dolphin boy anymore, as his arm was no longer part of him.  Poor Simon, only 10, and he has such promise as a swimmer and now he would never be able to swim again like he used too. 

Faith: Why I love Him?

I know I haven't posted in a while and even this time what I am blogging is not my own work. I have reposted some of Emma Scriveners blog posts before and am doing so again.

Emma's latest post about Why she loves Him, spoke to me and what she wrote was beautiful and true for me as it was for her, and am sure true for others. I have taken her reasons and added my own as well.

Who is this Him she and I love? Jesus - the one man who will never leave us, forsake us, let us down, lie to us, cheat on us - the one man who will love us forever no matter what we do because He has already forgiven us.

So why do I love Him?

He loved me first.

He has forgiven me.

He died on the cross for me.

He’s never too busy.

He always listens to me.

He treated men and women equally in a time when no-one else did.

Everything I love was made by Him.

He always watches over me

He knows all my faults and sees all my mistakes, yet He still loves me.

He invited me into His family.

He will never abandon me or leave me or hurt me.

He knows me inside-out and still, He stays.

He hates injustice and abuse.

He is Lord over all creation – yet He made Himself a tiny dependent baby.

When the soldiers said, “If you’re God’s son, come down from the cross,” He stayed. For me.

He practised what He preached.

There is no-one like Him.

He was exhausted and persecuted yet He still had compassion on the people who crowded around Him.

Everything He has, He shares with us.

He loves His Dad and tells everyone how much.

He sees what we try to keep hidden and He says, “come into the light.”

He gives everything; including Himself.

One thing I ask from the Lord,

this only do I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze on the beauty of the Lord

and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4

Life: Are you stuck?

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in life like Winnie the Pooh in his jar of honey, or do you ever feel depressed like Eeyore? Do you relate to the statements below?

1. sometimes you’ll feel angry or sad or overwhelmed or unsafe or crazy.  These feelings are not the truth. They are feelings and they will pass.

2. your circumstances will change. Suffering has a ‘used by’ date. Only Jesus’ future is forever. There is hope. You will feel better.

3. when everyday tasks feel overwhelming, breathe and remind yourself to go a step at a time.  Try to keep to routines; but don’t beat yourself up when you can’t.

4. you may feel alone and like no-one else can understand.  That’s part of this struggle; and it’s not the truth.  Other people have walked this path before you.  Most importantly, Jesus has.  He has come through and He will lead you through too.

5. you are not alone. You can – must – let a few people in; and they will help. They can’t rescue you, but they can walk with you. They are not trying to control you or harm you.

6. you might have been harmed in the past: and if so, I’m sorry.  But not everyone is like this.

7. you don’t need to know who you are to have an identity.  You don’t need to know where you’re going to have a future.  Jesus knows these things and He will lead.

8. you are not what’s been done to you or what you have done.  When Jesus died, those things died.  You are raised with Him to hope and healing and wholeness.

9. you are not in control. You never will be.  You’re not meant to be. This means you can rest. You are safe in His care.

10.  you have needs.

11. You are human and have struggles. You might express them in unusual ways, but you’re no different to everyone else – not weaker and not stronger either.

12. you can’t do life by yourself.  No-one can.

13. you are ready for recovery.

Please note that you are not the only one who goes through life feeling these things at times, we all do. But we don't have to go through it alone as we have the one true comforter beside us all day everyday, Jesus is always with us, and will never fail us.

Life: Relationships are hard

I was listening to my ipod a couple of days ago while getting ready to go out.  A song came on which I didn’t recognise or the band who was singing it (got so many sometimes it’s hard to keep track!) but the lyrics stood out to me, especially the chorus

“You used to be all that I had

Now you are just not what I need

I’ve got to get over your and I know

Then I can get back to me”

Those words made me think of relationships but more in particular relationship breakdowns.  You spend time with people – friends, partners, family etc. – people you make relationships with and sometimes these people can feel like they are all you need to do life with.  But then you realise they are not for you, they are not what you need and probably you aren’t what they need either.  They are bad for you and there is more hurt in the relationship than love.  So you break the relationship off if you can, sometimes it is hard to do this, and now you can breathe.

However, you are still hurt by what has happened within the relationship and things that were said but you know it will take time to recover and get over them, but then you start to get back on your own feet and realise it is time to live life for you and be who you want to be.

Relationships are good but they do take work. Sometimes in relationships what you need can fall by the wayside as you spend so much time thinking of the other and they take but do not give.  This can be dangerous for both people.

So, it is important to remember to take time for yourself – remember you are important, and you are no use to anyone else when you are worn out and low.  

Life: The Dating Game

Ok so I am going to be honest in this blog post – I am 33 and am single.  All my friends are married and even though I do love them to bits, it can be hard at times to be a singleton, but other times I am ok with it and love being able to do what I want when I want.

I haven’t been out with anyone since November 2011. However in 2013 I was proposed to by a friend in Peru, but due to cultural and language differences I said no.  So have had my chances, but they were wrong chances!

There are no single men in my church, well around my age anyway.  This is a lot because many Christian men don’t evangelise to other Christian men and bring them to events which is why there is a higher ratio of single women in churches than there are single men. 

I decided that I would like to try the dating game again so went online to see what was available.  Unfortunately there are a lot of men out there who just want one thing – and that is not for me.  However, I have chatted to a few nice guys and actually arranged to meet a few.

1)      The first guy I met was nice but I decided it just wouldn’t work between us.  I know beggars cannot be choosers but I am not so desperate to say begin a relationship with the first person who shows and interest in me. Don’t want to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons

2)      The second I thought I might meet was very full on and in your face, always wanting to be in touch and pressing me to meet him all the time,  but I decided to stop him in his stride and not meet him.

3)      Guy number three was the same as number two – very full on.

4)      Guy number four got annoyed at me when I had to rearrange the meet and told me I had missed my chance. Ah well, obviously not the guy for me!

5)      I had arranged to meet guy number five after work one day, but he never turned up.  Going on dates is hard enough without the embarrassment of being stood up. Ah well seems he missed his chance!

6)      Guy number six seemed nice but trying to arrange a date with him was very difficult as he was never free or I was never free. Finally I said how about this Saturday, as was going to rearrange something, but he said he was not free any Saturday ever!! So I said what about another day, after work to which he replied he was not free for the rest of the year! A bit immature really!

7)      Guy number seven kept me waiting for 25 minutes, but despite this I still liked him and thought there may be a possibility with this one. He bought me lunch then after an hour of chatting he got up rather abruptly and said “I am going now” and with that he left.  I had no idea what I had done so texted him and said I was hurt and he said “I am sorry you feel that way. See you around” Still don’t know what I did or what to think except he was very rude.

8)      I met guy number 8 and we went to an ice cream shop for our date. He seemed a nice fellow but we didn’t really have much in common

9)      So after that I decided to not meet guy number 9 and take a break as its exhausting all this dating!

Being single is hard, but being single in Northern Ireland is harder and being a single Christian girl in Northern Ireland is even harder as like I said before, there are no young single Christian men in churches – come on guys get out there an evangelise, don’t leave it to us girls to flirt to convert because it doesn’t work!

I am not sure whether to give up or plough on.  I don’t feel God wants me to be single but I need a strong man who respects me and shares my faith, not a man who will break my heart.

Life: How to Keep Going

I have borrowed blogs before from Emma Scrivener, author of A New Name, because what she has written, I can relate to and also believe others needs to hear it, especially those of us who are struggling to get through life everyday as we live with chronic illnesses, mental health problems, jobs we hate, relationship problems etc. But we need to remember we are not on our own, we have Jesus beside us, walking life with us.

So how do we keep going?

11)   It’s not about having faith in yourself or a general sense that things will work out ok. It’s about a concrete faith in the living Lord Jesus and the rock-solid promise that He will finish what He has started.

   2) Having this faith does not mean you always feel it. You can love and trust the Lord but still be mired in deep depression. You can cling to His promises and still have doubts. What you feel is NOT who you are. You died and were raised with Jesus. Fact – not feeling.

3)    Another fact: feelings matter, (even if they’re not always trustworthy). They’re part of who God has made us and all of them (even the “bad” ones) are good. Anger can be righteous. Anxiety can become compassion. Fear can be prudence. And even if they’re completely unrighteous, we shouldn’t deny their existence either. We listen to them, weep or laugh at them as appropriate and most of all we speak to them with Bible truths and pray them to a Father who wants a heart to heart.

4)    Don’t go it alone. The Holy Spirit is not our wing-man, on standby for absolute emergencies. He’s taken up permanent residence in us: because we need Him for every breath. All the stuff that’s whirring round your head and doesn’t know where to go? Pray it. The boiler, the refugee crisis, the bills, the dog. Whether it’s a leisurely four-course chat or an espresso “help!” He gift wraps our words and carries them straight to the top.

5)    Don’t go it alone. Church is family. It doesn’t matter if you’re introvert or extrovert; we’re made to depend on one other – and there are no exceptions, (me and you included!). If your temptation is to carry everyone else, then allow yourself to be carried. But remember that even (and especially) in our suffering, we can bless others too. That doesn’t mean signing up for every rota when you’re feeling burnt out.  It does mean remembering that as Jesus comforts us, we comfort others - and part of how He redeems these bad times is by putting you with others who are facing the same things.

6)     Which brings us to no.6: you are not alone, (yes a variation on 4+5 but if you’re like me, and you need to hear it from different angles).    Tempted to despair?  Jesus cried, “Why have you abandoned me?”  Feeling bullied and persecuted? He was hounded to a cross. Estranged from your family and loved ones? His own town rejected Him. Desperate and overwhelmed? He cried out, “Is there any other way?” Whatever our struggle, He gets it. He does not condemn us. He gently leads us out. This doesn’t mean that our circumstances will change, (though they might). It does mean that He’ll give us strength to stand up under them.

7)    “Everything” does not need to happen immediately.    You don’t have to turn your life around when you’re struggling to get out of bed. You don’t have to run an empire when washing your hair overwhelms you. The corporate world will keep turning. The washing and the shopping and the emails can wait. The perfect you? Forget it.  Do what you can with now and know that this is enough.

8)    God’s not about replacing us, but renewing what’s there. So don’t you dare despise yourself? Hate your sin, sure, but not yourself. And don’t put limits on what He can see and what He can do.  “Impossible?  Miraculous?”  Absolutely. That’s what He does. That’s what He’s doing.  (Whether you feel it or not!)

What did I learn from this blog post? I am not alone and slow down! 

Faith: Resume of the Apostles

Last weekend I went away with Calvary Braid Valley Church for their weekend away - it was a weekend of fun, friendship and lots of food.  During one of the devotions, the following was read out to us: - I loved it when I heard it and it makes you realise that God can use anyone and everyone to do His work - as in Christ Jesus we are made anew - the old things have gone, we are 'Born Again'

Resumes of Apostles

To: Jesus, Son of Joseph
Woodcrafter’s Carpenter Shop
Nazareth 25922

From: Jordan Management Consultants

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for managerial positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; and we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant.

The profiles of all tests are included, and you will want to study each of them carefully.

As part of our service, we make some general comments for your guidance, much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of staff consultation, and comes without any additional fee.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew had been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau; James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus definitely have radical leanings, and they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind, and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious, and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man. All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.#

We wish you every success in your new venture.

Sincerely,

Jordan Management Consultants

Faith: Who Am I?

Following on from last night's post on Who I am in Christ, I have more to share from Anderson's Victory over the Darkness book. Every Christian is identified with Christ:

In His death                 Romans 6 v 3 & 6
In His burial                Romans 6 v 4
In His resurrection      Romans 6 v 5, 8 & 11
In His ascension          Ephesians 2 v 6
In His life                    Romans 6 v 10 & 11
In His power               Ephesians 1 v 19 & 20
In His inheritance       Romans 8 v 16-17

And the following list shows us who we really are in Christ - some of the spiritual traits that reflect who we become when we become Christians:

I am the salt of the earth (Matt.5:13)
I am the light of the world (Matt.5:14)
I am a child of God (John 1:12)
I am a part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's life (John 15:1,5)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15)
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16)
I am a slave to righteousness (Romans 6:18)
I am enslaved to God (Romans 6:22)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father (Romans 8:14,15; Gal. 3:26; 4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17)
I am a temple a dwelling place of God. His Spirit and His life dwells in me (1 Cor. 3:16, 6:19)
I am united to the Lord and am one Spirit with Him (1 Cor.6:17)
I am a member of Christ's Body 1 Cor. 12:27; Eph.5:30)
I am a new creature (2 Cor. 5: 17)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5: 18,19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ ( Gal. 3: 26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Gal. 4: 6,7)
I am a saint ( Eph. 1:1; 1Cor. 1:2; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:2)
I am God's workmanship-His handiwork-born anew in Christ to do His work (Eph. 2:10)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family ( Eph.2:19)
I am a prisoner of Christ (Eph. 3:1; 4:1)
I am righteous and holy (Eph.4:24)
I a, a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Phil. 3:20; Eph. 2:6)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:4)
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Col.3:4)
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Col.3:12; 1 Thess.1:4)
I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thess. 5:5)
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Heb.3:1)
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life (Heb. 3:14)
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as s spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5)
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of God's own possession (1Peter 2:9,10)
I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11)
I am a enemy of the devil (1 Peter 5:8)
I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns (1 John 3: 1,2)
I am born of God, and the evil one - the devil - cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
I am not the Great I AM, (Exodus 3:14; John 8:24,28,58) But by the grace of God I am what I am (1 Cor.15:10)

Faith: Who I am in Christ

Tonight have been reading Neil Andersons "Victory over the Darkness" book and am learning about the Fall of Adam and Eve and how it affects us, how we all suffer from rejection, guilt & shame as well as weakness and helplessness, and we have many needs which need met.  But the good thing is that as we live our lives out in Christ, he will meet our needs - all of them.

In Christ we are accepted - no need to feel rejected or feel like we do not belong
In Christ we have self worth
In Christ we have strength

We all live in fear of things, but in Christ we need not fear.

In Christ we are accepted
In Christ we are secure
In Christ we are significant

If you, like me, struggle to believe all these things, the following bible verses will help:

I am accepted…

·         John 1:12 I am God’s child.

·         John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.

·         Romans 5:1 I have been justified.

·         1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.

·         1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.

·         1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ’s body.

·         Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.

·         Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

·         Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.

·         Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.

I am secure…

·         Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation.

·         Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.

·         Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.

·         2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.

·         Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God.

·         Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.

·         Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.

·         2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

·         1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.

I am significant…

·         John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.

·         John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

·         1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God’s temple.

·         2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God.

·         Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.

·         Ephesians 2:10 I am God’s workmanship.

·         Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

·         Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Flash Fiction: Mind Games

Why do we always have to do this, join hands and say grace before every meal, it is so boring. Every morning, noon and night, well when we are in the house anyway, we cannot start our meals until grace is said.  It doesn't matter if there are two or us or all eight of us, we have to hold hands and either sing or listen to dad before we can sit down.

Tonight mum called dinner time twenty minutes ago and I have been waiting at the table with Dad, Mum and little Joey but we have to wait until my two brothers, my younger sister and my Granda, who lives with us, all arrive at the table.  Sometimes Granda Joe can take ages to come because he is so slow.  Finally after another five minutes wait and countless shouts upstairs to everyone, the whole clan has gathered at the table. Let the hand holding and grace begin.

I know I should be concentrating on what is being said, but I can’t, my mind is wandering, lots of different thoughts going through my head, but hey wait a minute that’s not one of my thoughts, someone is putting words into my head.  What’s going on?

Am I hearing other people’s thoughts, am I reading their minds, what’s going on? So many random thoughts and words going through my mind and I can’t piece them together. I need to concentrate hang on, what’s this “I wish Jennifer would call me back, why is she avoiding me”. Who is Jennifer and who is she avoiding, can only be two people really, Daniel and Josh, my two big brothers. I doubt Granda Joe has a woman on the go and Dad, well dad would never cheat on my mum, would he?

Oh here comes another thought, I am not sure I like being able to read their minds because am not liking what I hear, “I so wish Deborah would not wear clothes like that, she looks so out of sorts, who will want to marry her” ahhhh, why is my mum thinking those things about me. She is so nice to my face but that’s how she really sees me, as non-marriage material. Well thanks so much Mother!

“I so want a smoke, just right now, would be so nice. I can’t believe Josh believed me when I told him it was normal nicotine in my snuff box, that boy wouldn’t know what marijuana was if it hit him in the face!”  What was this, Daniel has got a stash of marijuana in his room….. Why is he keeping it away from me? Ah wait till I tell Mum this. Maybe this mind reading business isn't so bad after all, think of all the information I can gather on others and then use it on them to get my way. Good old fashioned blackmail and fun! 

Flash Fiction: Twisting Words

“That’s not what I said, why do you always do this, twist everything I say and take the negatives and not the positives of what I am telling you”

“But you said you didn't want to be my friend”

“I did not say that, my exact words were, I need space. I need a personal life.  I want to be friends but I can’t do it this way, it’s painful”

“So you are walking away? Everyone walks away from me at some point”

“NO, I AM NOT WALKING AWAY.  Flip you exhaust me.  I am still here for you, just not as much as before. Do you understand that?”

“OK”

“OK what? Do you understand?”

“Yes I understand. I push people away and no one wants to be my friend”

“You are so blinking frustrating and its comments like that which sends people away. I am trying to still be here for you but you are driving me to the limits. I can’t take much any more”

“I am sorry. I am a failure”

“Stop twisting things and stop being so negative. People love you, I love you, accept that”

“OK, I will try”

“I do love you. I do care about you. I always will. I am not walking away from you. I am here for you, but I need space”

“OK”

“OK.  You do have friends but things can’t always be how you want them to be.  You need to try and be more content in your own self and accept things the way they are.  You can’t change your circumstances but you can change how you behave in them”

“OK. I am and have been trying to be all this”

“I know, and keep going. You are doing well. One day at a time”

“One day at a time”

Flash Fiction: Bullet through the Pain

As the bullet tore through flesh and bone I prayed the hole would give my inner pain an escape route.  Pain I have been suffering from for months, years even.  Pain that took over my whole body, tearing at my heart and bringing drummers to my head.

I thought about how to take my pain away, how it would be great to be free from the pain and life a life pain free.  But I never thought this would be a way out.  I wasn’t looking for this to happen, it just happened.  I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or did it end up being the right time?

I was feeling low and decided one way to make me feel better was chocolate and ice cream, but there wasn’t any in the house which forced me to go to the local shop.  First time I had stepped outside the house in weeks.  Little did I know that this was going to change my life?

When I got to the shop it was quiet, well at quarter to midnight on a Wednesday night you would expect it to be quiet. Most people would have been tucked up in their beds not seeking comfort food!  In the shop, along with me and the shopkeeper there were two other customers - then all hell broke loose.

I had just arrived at the till to buy my Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Ice Cream and a massive bar of Galaxy chocolate, when two men came through the door wearing balaclavas, brandishing guns and yelling at me to get to the ground.  I couldn’t move, I was shocked and rooted to the floor. I was stunned. 

“Get on the floor” one of the men yelled at me again while pointing the fun at me.  I tried to move but I couldn’t. I was frozen to the spot.  “Get down on the floor, or I will shoot you”.  My brain was trying to tell my body to move but my body was being stubborn and not moving.

Then all of a sudden my body moved, but not on its own accord - I had been shot and the impact of the bullet threw me to the floor.

I was in agony, the pain in my body was excruciating but the pain in my heart and soul was starting to leave.  What was happening to me?

I opened my eyes and the light was bright.  So bright I had to close them again. A few minutes later I reopened them and a man was standing before me reaching his hand out to me – I grabbed it and he pulled me up.  The pain was gone.  The inner pain and the outer pain.  I was free.  But why?

“Where am I?” I asked the man

“You are with me child”, he replied

Now I realised why my pain had disappeared.  That gunshot had killed me.  My escape route had arrived without me even looking for it.

Flash Fiction: Said the Spider to the Fly

“What are you doing here?”

“I was just flying around when I got caught up here in your web”

“It’s my web, belongs to me, it is not for strangers, but then again us spiders like it when our food comes to us instead of having to go out and catch it”

“Please don’t eat me, I am not that tasty”

“Of course you are tasty, all flies are tasty”

“But I am not tasty, I taste all mouldy and horrible”

“Let me be the judge of that”

“Nooooo, please”

“Ok, well ok, for the moment anyway. I had a massive lunch so am not that hungry anymore, but you are in my home and you can’t escape. Do you like me web?”

“Yes, it is lovely”

“Why do you think we create webs?”

“Because you need somewhere to live?”

“No, try again”

“Because you want to show people how creative and talented are with your spinning skills?”

“No try again”

“I don’t know. I am just a fly, I am not that smart!”

“It is so we can capture other insects that dare come near us. To snare them into our traps”

“But why?”

“Well, so we can survive”

“Survive?”

“Yes, survive by eating all you lovely flies etc.  Now come here you tasty looking thing”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  Don’t eat me.  I have children, they will miss their daddy”

“Too late, you are trapped. Ha Ha Ha!”

Flash Fiction: The Explosion

It was the evening time and I was sitting in school in my mum’s classroom while she was at a parent’s teacher evening in the assembly hall.  She dragged me along as she did not want to leave me in the house with my sister in case we fought.  It was weird being at school in the evening with none of my classmates around, and it was dark and eerie without the usual sound of loads of school children around.  I was feeling a bit scared.

But that scared feeling was about to get ten times worse.  There I was playing on the computer minding my own business when the school shook and there was a noise so loud it felt like the earth had cracked in two.  I had heard explosions before but none this big or loud. It felt like the explosion was close by and I was expecting the school to fall down around me at any time. I was alone and petrified.

I ran from the classroom and down the stairs to find my mum.  She was on her way to me. I ran into her arms crying, she hugged me and told me everything would be all right.

“What was that explosion Mum?”

“I don’t know but it was very loud and massive”

“Where was it, it sounded so close? Did you feel the school shake?”

“Yes, and it shook for a good while and the sound rumbled for ages.  The windows trembled and I thought they were going to come in around us”

“Was it a bomb or an earthquake?”

“It was probably a bomb as earthquakes don’t usually happen in Northern Ireland.  It sounded like a very large bomb, unlike anything I have ever experienced before”

“It sounded so close.  What about Dad and Chrissie?”

“Chrissie is on her own, we need to go home now and make sure she is ok. Dad’s away at a church meeting. I am sure they are both ok”

We grabbed out things and ran to the car.  I had never seen my Mum arrive as fast a she did that right.  We got home to find my sister standing on the door step in tears, scared.

“Mum, what happened, where was that? I thought you and Joey would be dead, it was so close and loud.  Was it a bomb? The whole house shook and I thought the windows would come in around me”

“Yes it must have been a bomb, but I have no idea where it was”

“What about Dad, is he ok?”

“I am not sure sweetheart, am sure he will be ok.  Let’s go inside and wait for him, it is cold outside”

So we went inside the house, and first thing we did was put on the kettle for a much needed cup of tea, after all tea solves all the world’s problems! After about five minutes of worrying about where our Dad was and if he was ok, the front door banged and in he ran. Never was I so happy to see my father, we were all safe. They hadn’t got us this time.  

Flash Fiction: Hole in a Bucket

“What do you mean there is a hole in the bucket?”

“It means exactly what it means, there is a hole in the bucket.”

“Dear Liza, Dear Liza!”

“What?”

“Well it reminded me of the song so thought would finish the line off, dear Henry!”

“Hardy ha ha”

“Okay, seriously, what’s going on?”

“You know the bucket that we have been using to carry the finished beer we have been brewing, over to the kitchen to put the finished product into bottles?”

“Yeah!”

“Well there is a hole in the bucket, so every time we have carried the beer in the bucket from the garage to the kitchen via the living room, it has been leaking out of the hole in the bottom of the bucket”

“So?”

“Well the living room carpet is now completely stained with the beer”

“WHAT? My mum will kill me, what do I do? What do we do now?”

“Well we could fix it, dear Henry, fix it!”

“ENOUGH WITH THE SONG”

“Okay okay man, chill out am just having a laugh”

“Well this is not a funny situation, nothing to laugh at here, my Mum will kill me”

“You started it!”

“Well now I am finishing it, because this is serious stuff now.  My Mum will freak out when she sees what we have done to her carpet.  She will either ground me for life, or worse, kill me!  What do we do?”

“What about the smell of the alcohol?”

“I know! What do we do?”

“Well I don’t know what you are going to go, but I know what I am going to do. I am out of here.  Bye Bye!

“Some friend you are”

“I am your friend, it’s just your mum scares me too”

“You wuss”

“What you mean I am a wuss, you are the run who has been running around going, ahhh what will I do, my Mum’s going to kill me”

“Oi, don’t mimic me. But it is true, she probably will kill me. We need to get it cleaned up”

“Just go buy a nice rug and put it over it, tell her you thought the place needed brightened up. It will do the trick”

“Hey, that’s not a bad idea, let’s go rug shopping”

Flash Fiction: The Unwanted Guest

Oh my word, can life get any more complicated.  Just two months ago I started a new life – moved out of the parental home, got married and moved in with the wife.  It was two months of married bliss, we were still in the honeymoon period and nothing was going to ruin that.  Nothing.  We were happy and enjoying out time together with no intrusions.  Nothing was going to ruin that.  Nothing. But that all changed with the ring of the doorbell.

Last night while my wife and I were enjoying a candle let dinner to celebrate two months of being married, our doorbell rang.  Initially we ignored it as we did not want to be disturbed, but the doorbell kept ringing and whoever was behind it was pretty insistent.  The noise was annoying so I decided it was best to answer the door and had the best intentions of telling the person behind it to go far away.

However when I opened the door I realised those words would not work or even ever be able to come out of my mouth because there standing on my doorstep was my mother! I was speechless.

What’s wrong with that I hear you say, mothers are lovely?  Yes they are lovely, and I love my mum to bits. But….. it was what stood beside my mother which shocked me, because standing beside her was four suitcases and other prized possessions of my mother’s.

Since I had been standing quiet at the door for a few minutes, my wife came to see what was happening as she was a bit concerned.  She took one look at me, then at my mother and back to me and said “What’s going on here?”

I just stood there, still speechless while my Mum said, “I am moving in with you both!”

“What did you just say?” I replied

“I said, I am moving in”

“What, where, why and how?”

“The what is that I am moving in with you both, the where being into your house, this house, the one on whose doorstep I am standing right now being blocked by you, the why is because your father has kicked me out and I have nowhere else to do, and the how – well youa re going to carry my bags in while I walk over the threshold of the door!!”

“But why, why here?”

“I told you, I have nowhere else to go”

“No, no it’s too small here”

“I am moving in, that’s that! You are my Son.  I am your mother.  You looked after me so now you are too look after me!”

“No, no we can’t…..”

I looked at my wife for backup, but she being very afraid of my mother just looked at me and said, “Come on Alex, be a good son and carry your mother’s bags up to the spare room”

I look over at Gemma, my wife with disbelief on my face.  How was I going to cope living in the same house as my mother and wife?  So I did what any sensible person would do in this situation, got my coat and walked out the front door and said, “Enjoy ladies.  I am going to go and live with Dad! Have fun! And with that I closed the door and walked away! 

Prompt: A man’s mother decides to move in with him unannounced