Life: Are you stuck?

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in life like Winnie the Pooh in his jar of honey, or do you ever feel depressed like Eeyore? Do you relate to the statements below?

1. sometimes you’ll feel angry or sad or overwhelmed or unsafe or crazy.  These feelings are not the truth. They are feelings and they will pass.

2. your circumstances will change. Suffering has a ‘used by’ date. Only Jesus’ future is forever. There is hope. You will feel better.

3. when everyday tasks feel overwhelming, breathe and remind yourself to go a step at a time.  Try to keep to routines; but don’t beat yourself up when you can’t.

4. you may feel alone and like no-one else can understand.  That’s part of this struggle; and it’s not the truth.  Other people have walked this path before you.  Most importantly, Jesus has.  He has come through and He will lead you through too.

5. you are not alone. You can – must – let a few people in; and they will help. They can’t rescue you, but they can walk with you. They are not trying to control you or harm you.

6. you might have been harmed in the past: and if so, I’m sorry.  But not everyone is like this.

7. you don’t need to know who you are to have an identity.  You don’t need to know where you’re going to have a future.  Jesus knows these things and He will lead.

8. you are not what’s been done to you or what you have done.  When Jesus died, those things died.  You are raised with Him to hope and healing and wholeness.

9. you are not in control. You never will be.  You’re not meant to be. This means you can rest. You are safe in His care.

10.  you have needs.

11. You are human and have struggles. You might express them in unusual ways, but you’re no different to everyone else – not weaker and not stronger either.

12. you can’t do life by yourself.  No-one can.

13. you are ready for recovery.

Please note that you are not the only one who goes through life feeling these things at times, we all do. But we don't have to go through it alone as we have the one true comforter beside us all day everyday, Jesus is always with us, and will never fail us.

Life: Relationships are hard

I was listening to my ipod a couple of days ago while getting ready to go out.  A song came on which I didn’t recognise or the band who was singing it (got so many sometimes it’s hard to keep track!) but the lyrics stood out to me, especially the chorus

“You used to be all that I had

Now you are just not what I need

I’ve got to get over your and I know

Then I can get back to me”

Those words made me think of relationships but more in particular relationship breakdowns.  You spend time with people – friends, partners, family etc. – people you make relationships with and sometimes these people can feel like they are all you need to do life with.  But then you realise they are not for you, they are not what you need and probably you aren’t what they need either.  They are bad for you and there is more hurt in the relationship than love.  So you break the relationship off if you can, sometimes it is hard to do this, and now you can breathe.

However, you are still hurt by what has happened within the relationship and things that were said but you know it will take time to recover and get over them, but then you start to get back on your own feet and realise it is time to live life for you and be who you want to be.

Relationships are good but they do take work. Sometimes in relationships what you need can fall by the wayside as you spend so much time thinking of the other and they take but do not give.  This can be dangerous for both people.

So, it is important to remember to take time for yourself – remember you are important, and you are no use to anyone else when you are worn out and low.  

Life: The Dating Game

Ok so I am going to be honest in this blog post – I am 33 and am single.  All my friends are married and even though I do love them to bits, it can be hard at times to be a singleton, but other times I am ok with it and love being able to do what I want when I want.

I haven’t been out with anyone since November 2011. However in 2013 I was proposed to by a friend in Peru, but due to cultural and language differences I said no.  So have had my chances, but they were wrong chances!

There are no single men in my church, well around my age anyway.  This is a lot because many Christian men don’t evangelise to other Christian men and bring them to events which is why there is a higher ratio of single women in churches than there are single men. 

I decided that I would like to try the dating game again so went online to see what was available.  Unfortunately there are a lot of men out there who just want one thing – and that is not for me.  However, I have chatted to a few nice guys and actually arranged to meet a few.

1)      The first guy I met was nice but I decided it just wouldn’t work between us.  I know beggars cannot be choosers but I am not so desperate to say begin a relationship with the first person who shows and interest in me. Don’t want to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons

2)      The second I thought I might meet was very full on and in your face, always wanting to be in touch and pressing me to meet him all the time,  but I decided to stop him in his stride and not meet him.

3)      Guy number three was the same as number two – very full on.

4)      Guy number four got annoyed at me when I had to rearrange the meet and told me I had missed my chance. Ah well, obviously not the guy for me!

5)      I had arranged to meet guy number five after work one day, but he never turned up.  Going on dates is hard enough without the embarrassment of being stood up. Ah well seems he missed his chance!

6)      Guy number six seemed nice but trying to arrange a date with him was very difficult as he was never free or I was never free. Finally I said how about this Saturday, as was going to rearrange something, but he said he was not free any Saturday ever!! So I said what about another day, after work to which he replied he was not free for the rest of the year! A bit immature really!

7)      Guy number seven kept me waiting for 25 minutes, but despite this I still liked him and thought there may be a possibility with this one. He bought me lunch then after an hour of chatting he got up rather abruptly and said “I am going now” and with that he left.  I had no idea what I had done so texted him and said I was hurt and he said “I am sorry you feel that way. See you around” Still don’t know what I did or what to think except he was very rude.

8)      I met guy number 8 and we went to an ice cream shop for our date. He seemed a nice fellow but we didn’t really have much in common

9)      So after that I decided to not meet guy number 9 and take a break as its exhausting all this dating!

Being single is hard, but being single in Northern Ireland is harder and being a single Christian girl in Northern Ireland is even harder as like I said before, there are no young single Christian men in churches – come on guys get out there an evangelise, don’t leave it to us girls to flirt to convert because it doesn’t work!

I am not sure whether to give up or plough on.  I don’t feel God wants me to be single but I need a strong man who respects me and shares my faith, not a man who will break my heart.

Life: How to Keep Going

I have borrowed blogs before from Emma Scrivener, author of A New Name, because what she has written, I can relate to and also believe others needs to hear it, especially those of us who are struggling to get through life everyday as we live with chronic illnesses, mental health problems, jobs we hate, relationship problems etc. But we need to remember we are not on our own, we have Jesus beside us, walking life with us.

So how do we keep going?

11)   It’s not about having faith in yourself or a general sense that things will work out ok. It’s about a concrete faith in the living Lord Jesus and the rock-solid promise that He will finish what He has started.

   2) Having this faith does not mean you always feel it. You can love and trust the Lord but still be mired in deep depression. You can cling to His promises and still have doubts. What you feel is NOT who you are. You died and were raised with Jesus. Fact – not feeling.

3)    Another fact: feelings matter, (even if they’re not always trustworthy). They’re part of who God has made us and all of them (even the “bad” ones) are good. Anger can be righteous. Anxiety can become compassion. Fear can be prudence. And even if they’re completely unrighteous, we shouldn’t deny their existence either. We listen to them, weep or laugh at them as appropriate and most of all we speak to them with Bible truths and pray them to a Father who wants a heart to heart.

4)    Don’t go it alone. The Holy Spirit is not our wing-man, on standby for absolute emergencies. He’s taken up permanent residence in us: because we need Him for every breath. All the stuff that’s whirring round your head and doesn’t know where to go? Pray it. The boiler, the refugee crisis, the bills, the dog. Whether it’s a leisurely four-course chat or an espresso “help!” He gift wraps our words and carries them straight to the top.

5)    Don’t go it alone. Church is family. It doesn’t matter if you’re introvert or extrovert; we’re made to depend on one other – and there are no exceptions, (me and you included!). If your temptation is to carry everyone else, then allow yourself to be carried. But remember that even (and especially) in our suffering, we can bless others too. That doesn’t mean signing up for every rota when you’re feeling burnt out.  It does mean remembering that as Jesus comforts us, we comfort others - and part of how He redeems these bad times is by putting you with others who are facing the same things.

6)     Which brings us to no.6: you are not alone, (yes a variation on 4+5 but if you’re like me, and you need to hear it from different angles).    Tempted to despair?  Jesus cried, “Why have you abandoned me?”  Feeling bullied and persecuted? He was hounded to a cross. Estranged from your family and loved ones? His own town rejected Him. Desperate and overwhelmed? He cried out, “Is there any other way?” Whatever our struggle, He gets it. He does not condemn us. He gently leads us out. This doesn’t mean that our circumstances will change, (though they might). It does mean that He’ll give us strength to stand up under them.

7)    “Everything” does not need to happen immediately.    You don’t have to turn your life around when you’re struggling to get out of bed. You don’t have to run an empire when washing your hair overwhelms you. The corporate world will keep turning. The washing and the shopping and the emails can wait. The perfect you? Forget it.  Do what you can with now and know that this is enough.

8)    God’s not about replacing us, but renewing what’s there. So don’t you dare despise yourself? Hate your sin, sure, but not yourself. And don’t put limits on what He can see and what He can do.  “Impossible?  Miraculous?”  Absolutely. That’s what He does. That’s what He’s doing.  (Whether you feel it or not!)

What did I learn from this blog post? I am not alone and slow down! 

Faith: Resume of the Apostles

Last weekend I went away with Calvary Braid Valley Church for their weekend away - it was a weekend of fun, friendship and lots of food.  During one of the devotions, the following was read out to us: - I loved it when I heard it and it makes you realise that God can use anyone and everyone to do His work - as in Christ Jesus we are made anew - the old things have gone, we are 'Born Again'

Resumes of Apostles

To: Jesus, Son of Joseph
Woodcrafter’s Carpenter Shop
Nazareth 25922

From: Jordan Management Consultants

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for managerial positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; and we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant.

The profiles of all tests are included, and you will want to study each of them carefully.

As part of our service, we make some general comments for your guidance, much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of staff consultation, and comes without any additional fee.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew had been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau; James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus definitely have radical leanings, and they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind, and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious, and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man. All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.#

We wish you every success in your new venture.

Sincerely,

Jordan Management Consultants

Faith: Who Am I?

Following on from last night's post on Who I am in Christ, I have more to share from Anderson's Victory over the Darkness book. Every Christian is identified with Christ:

In His death                 Romans 6 v 3 & 6
In His burial                Romans 6 v 4
In His resurrection      Romans 6 v 5, 8 & 11
In His ascension          Ephesians 2 v 6
In His life                    Romans 6 v 10 & 11
In His power               Ephesians 1 v 19 & 20
In His inheritance       Romans 8 v 16-17

And the following list shows us who we really are in Christ - some of the spiritual traits that reflect who we become when we become Christians:

I am the salt of the earth (Matt.5:13)
I am the light of the world (Matt.5:14)
I am a child of God (John 1:12)
I am a part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's life (John 15:1,5)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15)
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16)
I am a slave to righteousness (Romans 6:18)
I am enslaved to God (Romans 6:22)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father (Romans 8:14,15; Gal. 3:26; 4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17)
I am a temple a dwelling place of God. His Spirit and His life dwells in me (1 Cor. 3:16, 6:19)
I am united to the Lord and am one Spirit with Him (1 Cor.6:17)
I am a member of Christ's Body 1 Cor. 12:27; Eph.5:30)
I am a new creature (2 Cor. 5: 17)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5: 18,19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ ( Gal. 3: 26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Gal. 4: 6,7)
I am a saint ( Eph. 1:1; 1Cor. 1:2; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:2)
I am God's workmanship-His handiwork-born anew in Christ to do His work (Eph. 2:10)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family ( Eph.2:19)
I am a prisoner of Christ (Eph. 3:1; 4:1)
I am righteous and holy (Eph.4:24)
I a, a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Phil. 3:20; Eph. 2:6)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:4)
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Col.3:4)
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Col.3:12; 1 Thess.1:4)
I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thess. 5:5)
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Heb.3:1)
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life (Heb. 3:14)
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as s spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5)
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of God's own possession (1Peter 2:9,10)
I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11)
I am a enemy of the devil (1 Peter 5:8)
I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns (1 John 3: 1,2)
I am born of God, and the evil one - the devil - cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
I am not the Great I AM, (Exodus 3:14; John 8:24,28,58) But by the grace of God I am what I am (1 Cor.15:10)

Faith: Who I am in Christ

Tonight have been reading Neil Andersons "Victory over the Darkness" book and am learning about the Fall of Adam and Eve and how it affects us, how we all suffer from rejection, guilt & shame as well as weakness and helplessness, and we have many needs which need met.  But the good thing is that as we live our lives out in Christ, he will meet our needs - all of them.

In Christ we are accepted - no need to feel rejected or feel like we do not belong
In Christ we have self worth
In Christ we have strength

We all live in fear of things, but in Christ we need not fear.

In Christ we are accepted
In Christ we are secure
In Christ we are significant

If you, like me, struggle to believe all these things, the following bible verses will help:

I am accepted…

·         John 1:12 I am God’s child.

·         John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.

·         Romans 5:1 I have been justified.

·         1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.

·         1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.

·         1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ’s body.

·         Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.

·         Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

·         Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.

·         Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.

I am secure…

·         Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation.

·         Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.

·         Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.

·         2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.

·         Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God.

·         Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.

·         Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.

·         2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

·         1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.

I am significant…

·         John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.

·         John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

·         1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God’s temple.

·         2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God.

·         Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.

·         Ephesians 2:10 I am God’s workmanship.

·         Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

·         Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.