Flash Fiction: Energy Draining

I had just walked through the door, didn’t even have time to take my coat off when my mobile rang.  Not again, I thought, I can’t deal with this right now so I didn’t answer.  Not quite two minutes later my landline started ringing, checked caller ID, it was ‘her’ again.  I wasn’t in the mood to have another conversation with her, having already spoken to her twice today, so I ignored the landline and put the kettle on.  I really needed a cup of tea, it had been a difficult day.

My mobile rang again, checked caller ID, same person, still I ignored it.  It rings off and my landline rings again, same person.  How many times will this go on tonight!  My mobile rings again, this time I answer it as I need a night off.

“What’s wrong?” I say

“I can’t do this anymore, I am fed up. Nothing is going right”

Internally that was exactly what I was thinking, I am fed up with all this too!

“We have gone through all this before, so many times. Take a breath, wipe away your tears and assess what the truth is”

“The truth is no one likes me. I have no friends.  My life is crap”

“Is that really true?”

“No, suppose not”

“So why say it?”

“Because it’s how I feel”

“But it’s not true, so why say it?”

“I don’t know.  It’s the depression, it takes over and I can’t help it”

“Yes I know that, but you need to take control of it, don’t let it control you.  Has CBT taught you nothing?”

“I can’t remember”

“Well we know that’s rubbish.  Now go and lie down and sleep, you are tired.  I am tired, been working all day and now all I want to do is drink a cup of tea, relax and watch TV”

“But…”

“No buts, I am going and that’s final. Now don’t call again. Go to bed. Sleep.  Tomorrow is a new day”

“I know but it won’t be any different. I will still be ill. I will still be depressed. I am better off dead”

Oh my, my brain is fried.  This wee girl is frustrating me.  It is the same story all the time, every week this goes on.  It drains me completely of energy.  She is being selfish but she can’t see that.  I just want my life back – but what can I do, I can’t just leave her alone and walk away from her can I? If I do leave her, what of person does that make me?  But it is so hard, so draining.

Despite me saying the conversation is over, she is still talking, but I can’t take it anymore so I get heavy with her.

“Look I am going now. I am hanging up. It’s late. I am tired. I am fed up. You are tired. You need to go to bed. I will be in touch.

“But…”

“I said no more. I will be in touch”

“When?”

“I am going.  Bye”

And that’s it. I hang up.  I am done.  Part of me feels bad, but I know this isn’t the end.  Despite me saying no more contact, there will be text messages and emails.  It is so draining.

I re-boil the kettle and eventually get my cup of tea, and since I am stressed there is only one thing for it - chocolate.  So I go to the cupboard and pull out the big bar of galaxy, ironically bought to me by my frustrating friend!!  I take my tea and chocolate to the living room, sit down, turn the TV on and put my feet up. Then I drink my tea and eat my chocolate.  Heaven.

Beep beep.  There goes my phone. Caller ID, her again. Told you, texts will come in.  I leave the phone down again without reading the text.  I still feel stressed so decide to put the music on, and put it on loud. I need to dance it out.  Dancing it out is a good stress relief, highly recommend it!

After 15 minutes of dancing it out, I start to feel a bit better.  The releasing of endorphins as helped as well as all the chocolate. Ended up eating the whole 500g bar.  Oops!

My phone is still beeping but I have had enough. I am going to bed. Deal with this all again tomorrow.

TV Review: Titanic: Blood & Steel

As I hail from Northern Ireland, the RMS Titanic is part of my cultural history and one of early moments of history I remember learning about in school.  The Titanic was built in Harland & Wolff Shipyard which is in Belfast and the two cranes David and Goliath are part of the Belfast skyline.

Harland & Wolff are well known for building great ships.  Unfortunately though the Titanic sank.  2012 marked 100 years since the ship sank and there many commemorations for this event and some TV shows were made about it.  One of these shows was “Titanic: Blood and Steel” which I recently watched.

Titanic: Blood and Steel is a series of 12 episodes and it was a slow burner to start off with but then it got interesting. It is a show not just about the building of the Titanic – there are plenty of other themes in it:

• Religion) especially the difference between Protestant and Catholic (only in Northern Ireland!!)
• Upper class v lower class
• Home Rule
• Trade Unions
• Politics
• Irish Republican Army
• Poverty
• Romance / Love
• Death

The show had some big names in it:

• Derek Jacobi as Lord Pirrie – a leading Irish shipbuilder and businessman.  He was Chairman of Harland & Wolff between 1895 and 1924.  He was also Lord Mayor of Belfast between 1896 and 1898).
• Neve Campbell as Joanna Yeagar – a New York Journalist
• Chris Noth as J.P Morgan - an American financier and founder of the J.P Morgan bank.  Another one of his ventures was International Mercantile Marine (IMM). One of the subsidiaries of IMM was White Star Line who were the owners of RMS Titanic.   Morgan died in 1913, a year after the RMS Titanic sank.

The series follows the lives of the shipbuilders, the financiers, the aristocratic families of Belfast and those who worked in office posts at Harland & Wolff.  Most of the characters are portrayals of real people like Thomas Andrews, J. Bruce Ismay and Lord Pirrie etc.  However, the central character Dr Mark Muir is a fictional character (portrayed by Keven Zegers – a Zac Efron lookalike). Dr Muir is an engineer and metallurgist (a person who specialises in metal).  He convinces J.P Morgan to hire him to work on the Titanic and succeeds.

Dr Muir claims to be a Londoner and speaks all posh. However, he is actually a native of Belfast and was born Marcus Malone but changed his name to Mark Muir in order to hide his identity and progress in his world of academia.  He tries to hide his heritage from his current employers Harland & Wolff because he is a Catholic and his employers are Protestant elite that rule Belfast and dislike Catholics.

When they find out that the real identity of Dr Muir they sack him as he is Catholic and no Catholics should ever be in management as apparently they are untrustworthy.  However after the sister ship The Olympic gets bashed in a crash, J.P Morgan insists Muir is brought back on the payroll as he is the best at his job.  The board do not like this but as Morgan is financing the Titanic then what he says goes and Dr Muir is rehired.

Dr Muir’s background isn’t the only thing to annoy the Board. He also insinuates that the steel used by the shipbuilding company were using was cheap steel, which apparently was a concern for the real shipbuilders building the RMS Titanic.  However, it has been documented that the steel plates used were of good quality of that period of time.  The reason why the Hull broke on impact with the iceberg was not because of structural weakness but because the strains imposed upon it were simply greater than any ocean liner was designed to bear.  And the hull only broke during the last few minutes of the ship sinking.

Tensions rise between the lower class workers and the rich elite which was due to sectarian discrimination as Harland and Wolff hired predominantly Protestant workers and only a few Catholics.  Though in the programme it shows that there were mostly equal numbers but in reality that is not true.  The Protestants did not want to work alongside Catholics so the Catholics rioted against this.

In the series the riots are apparently because of safety and wage issues, but Harland & Wolff’s wages were considered fair. It is the sectarian tensions which were the driving force of the rioting.  These riots were a setback for the construction of the Titanic, as were the workers wish to form a Trade Union., the woman suffragettes movement in the UK and the battle between pro Home Rule (a belief that all Ireland should remain an independent republic and pro Unionist (the political union between Ireland & Great Britain).

When RMS Titanic was built Ireland was all one country and only separated into Northern Ireland Southern Ireland 10 years after the Titanic sunk in 1922.

There are a many other historical errors in the show mainly regarding the Olympic (the sister ship) which was launched in October 1910 while the RMS Titanic was launched on May 2011.

There was a love story in the series as well which was between Dr Muir and Sofia Silvestri (an Italian immigrant and illustrator for Harland & Wolff).  Their relationship was up and down and in the end she had decided to go to New York to make a career in design and he wanted to stay in Belfast.

The series ended with the maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic which in reality was from Southampton to New York but in the show it sailed from Belfast.

Many of the shows main character board the RMS Titanic all ready for a new life in America.  As they all boarded I wondered which ones would have survived and which ones would perish.  I felt like shouting at the TV, no don’t get on the ship, it sinks!!

It was an interesting series, quite addictive and one day I ended up watching five episodes in one day! 

Life: Living Life

When I was diagnosed with MS people told me to keep living – to live life. Unfortunately I let the illness over crowd me and could not see past it.  It was a bit thing for me and took me a while to cross over to the other side and learn to live with MS and not let MS control me.

I now feel I have got there and am more content with life and am starting to live life – albeit one day at a time but that is all anyone can do really.  But I am living. MS is still there and sometimes rears its ugly head and takes over, but 90% of the time I am in control.

I am going things that I never could have done a year ago, or even six months ago. I went to Rathlin Island, (a wee island just off Northern Ireland – another island!) and walked a good way round it.  I was proud at the end of the day, tired but proud of having achieved it.

I went to a Ceilidh and danced the night away – was a fun night. I was only going to go for an hour but stayed til it finished as was having a good time.  Next day I was sore and tired but proud of myself.

I also went to Dublin for a day and after getting up early for the bus, I spent the day walking around the big City and then got home late at night. It was a long day but a good day. I did it. I was tired the next day but proud.

And a couple of weeks ago I went Paddle boarding which was very fun.  We learnt to kneel on the board and paddle while kneeling. Then it was time to stand up and paddle.  This required good balance – something I struggle with – and I feel in the water six times.  More than any of the other three did. But I didn’t mind. It was all part of the fun.  I did manage to stand up and stay on the board for a considerable amount of time standing up and paddle my way around Portballintrae harbour.  I had achieved something new.  Next day I was tired and sore, but proud.

Yes, I still struggle with tiredness and pain but I am learning to live and that is all anyone can do. 

Movie Review: Facing the Giants

I feel like I have been facing giants all my life, like everyone does at some point or another. So when I saw the title of this movie “Facing the Giants” I decided to watch it and see what it was all about.   It is a Christian movie and is based on a Shiloh Christian Academy football team which are led by head coach Grant Taylor.

 He has been in charge of the team for six years but the team have never won a game.  Now on his seventh year of head coach the season begins with a three-game losing streak.  The father’s of the players are angry about this and blame Taylor and talk about replacing him with the defensive coordinator Brady Owens.

The losing streak of his football team is not Grant’s only problem – his car is old and keeps breaking down and he discovers that his wife cannot become pregnant which hurts her so much as she really wants to be a mother.

Grant turns to God for help and asks him to speak to him.  And God does talk to him through Bible verses:

“These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. 8 I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name” (Revelation 3 vs 8)

Basically this says that the Lord is not through with us yet – he has opened doors for us to walk through and we should walk through them and see what happens. This  verse was shown to me this week when God opened a door for me and I was scared to walk through it, but decided to as by not doing so, I am not obeying God and he knows what is best for me.

Like Grant did, he need to give all we have to God and leave the results up to Him and no matter how hard it hurts, we need to keep going.

Grant decides to create a new coaching philosophy and decides to praise God, no matter if they lose, no matter if they win, they are going to praise God.  He guides and urges each one of his players to give the maximum effort and motivates them to believe they can under God’s provision. From that point on, the Eagles lose only one more game for the rest of the season and advance all the way to the state championship against the three-time defending champion Richland Giants. Even though the Eagles have only a third as many players as the Giants, the Eagles hold their own and ultimately win the game on a 51-yard field goal from a backup kicker who had never kicked more than a 35-yarder before.  Grant’s prayers have been answered and God has rewarded him and his team for their obedience and faith.

And that is not the only good news that Grant receives that night – he also finds out what his wife Brooke has conceived after four years of not being able to and he is going to be a Dad.  Another answer to prayer for Grant Taylor.

I learnt a lot from this movie:

• Be patient

• Can’t judge people by their actions and then judge yourself by your intenstions

• We need the right attitude – a can do attitude – a postivie attitude

• With God nothing is impossible

• In the Bible, God’s word, the words “Do not fear” are mentioned 365 times and if God said something that many times then he must be serious about it.  If God wants us to remember something he usually says it three times, so he must really want us not to fear as he said it 365 times – this is one “Do not fear” for every day of the year. Amazing.

• As long as we honour God nothing is impossible

• We need to praise him when you win and praise him when you lose

• God can do whatever he wants to do, whenever he chooses.  And he chooses to work in our lives because he loves us.  As it says in Matthew 19 vs 26: Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

If you have a chance to watch the movie do, but more importantly read Revelation Chapter 3, it has a lot of important stuff to say to us all. 

Book Review: A New Name

Emma Scrivener is a Christian, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a blogger, a speaker and an author but she also suffers from anorexia.

I started following Emma’s blog “A New Name” months ago and love the way she wrote and the topics she wrote about were all very interesting and relevant – open and honest.  Then I heard her speak at a Women’s conference in May 2015, she is an excellent speaker, again open and honest about her life as an anorexic and her life as a Christian as well.

Emma has also written a book with the same name as her blog, “A New Name” and recently read it. Again it is a very open and honest account of her life – very refreshing having someone be so honest. Before I read the book or heard Emma speak, I did not know much about anorexia or how it affects people who suffer from it, so for me the book was a very interesting read and educational.

Not only was Emma affected by the illness of anorexia but her family were affected by it as well. It stood between them as a family, and relations were difficult between her and her parents as well as between her and her siblings.  Most meal times turned into a war zone with her parents trying to make Emma eat and Emma refusing to do so.  And her sister and brother felt side-lined from the family as Emma got all the attention.

Emma’s illness affected her schooling, her friendships, her career and later as her marriage and her desire to become a mother.

When some people think of Anorexia they think of skinny models.  But as Emma says, “The face of anorexia is not a glossy model in a perfume ad, it is a starving animal, circling the empty cupboards, black eyes and vacant.  It’s a face frozen grim, mouthing lies.  I’m fine, it says, ‘Everything is under control”.  When in reality nothing was find and in her mind she is too fat but always hungry.

Emma reluctantly went to doctors for help as her parents needed to as they were desperate to get her back to normal.  Emma fought against all this during her teenage years and felt it never did any help.  When she relapsed into anorexia again in her adult years, she voluntary went to the doctors but still fought back against the doctor’s advice as even though she knew she wasn’t alright, she felt all was ok.

Emma is now in recovery from her illness and gives all the credit and thanks to God helping her out of the pain she lived in.  As she says “What preserved me was the mercy of God”

In describing her illness and what she lived through, Emma was very vivid and true.

One of her favourite poems is called “Not waving but drowning” by Stevie Smith.  The title says it all, “You can appear to the world like you have got it together – right place, right time, right behaviour – yet still be in serious trouble.”

The above quote is relevant to us all, smiling on the outside, dying in the inside.  We must be perceptive to other people and how they are feeling.  Not being push but just offering our hand of support and friendship, this means a lot of those who suffer from illnesses.

Emma also says that “for those watching people with anorexia there is only helplessness and horror” and for Emma, some days, “all that existed was the hallway between my bedroom and the bathroom.  Too weak to get back up and too broken ever to recover”

It is a great book, very insightful into the world of anorexia.

Emma is from Northern Ireland as I am.  And in the book she writes some things about the Northern Irish which I found interesting and also agreed with.  She writes “as a people, we can be somewhat schizophrenic – caught between opposing and sometimes competing desires.  Reticence is part of our national character but contrasts with a natural gregariousness, a passion for words and relationships.  We are renowned for being both tight-fisted and open-handed”

And also, “The Irish have a strength and a dark humour that’s born out of struggle – whether against famine or war. Yet it comes at a cost, as history testifies, we rarely forgive or forget.  Time mutes the stench and stain of blood, but the old scars remain”

I will state now that this doesn’t cover all people from Northern Ireland, that would be a huge generalisation, but it does cover most of us. Though we are all different, but probably not as different as some of them like to think!

The other bit that I agreed with was “We have a long tradition of telling stories against ourselves and dishing out what’s known as a ‘joke with a jag’ – a steely criticism candid in jest”

All is all I recommended you read this book and follow Emma’s blog.  They both offer something for everyone not just those suffering from anorexia. 

TV Review: Video Game High School

One day while scrolling through Netflix I came across a series called Video Game High School.  The name intrigued me so I thought I would take a look, and I watched the first episode.

Video Game High School is a comedy show based in a High School where all they do is play and learn about video games. Sound like a good idea for a school – could go and play Candy Crush Saga all day, though technically that is not a video game.  They played shoot em ups etc.

It is a very quirky show, reminded me a bit of ‘Saved by the Bell’, a series I watched when I was growing up.  VGHS as it known to the students, is a cheesy show but I quite liked it and ended up watching all three seasons.

I would recommended it as some light hearted comic fun, especially when your brain is fired and you have no concentration.  It does make you laugh.

The main characters are Brian, Ted and Ki who all meet on the first day of school and became instant friends.  The series follows their antics in the school including Ted’s relationship with his Dad, Ki and Dad’s relationship, Brian being in love with Jenny, the captain of the video game league which Brian then becomes a part of, plus other antics. It would be hard to explain them all as they are weird and quirky. 

I suggest you watch an episode. Most of them revolve around playing video games which become real time when they are in player mode so you feel like you are in the game too.  VGHS’s main opponent is Naplam Energy High School who are out to bring down VGHS and all who attend there.

A surreal wee programme at times.

Ki, Ted, Brian and Jenny

Flash Fiction: The Antics of a Schoolgirl

Prompt:  Late for school, you flip off a man who ends up being your substitute gym teacher 

“Oh my Emma, you will never guess what happened to me today”

“What Gill?”

“Well, I was walking down the street from my house to school via the sweet shop as usual”

“Yeah, I know your usual routine, you just go to the shop to see Stevie, you lurveeeeee him, ha ha!

“Yeah well, that s beside the point”

“OK, OK, I am sorry. Tell me what happened to you, I am interested really”

“OK, so I was walking across the zebra crossing.  And as you do, I looked left and I looked right and made sure nothing was coming before I walked across”

“Sensible”

“Stop mocking me”

“OK OK, again I am sorry. Continue”

“Anyway, so I walked across the Zebra crossing and half way across the road a bicycle came out of nowhere nearly knocking me over”

“Flip, Gill, what did you go? Are you OK?”

“Yeah. I am fine. No injuries. The only think that got hurt was my pride because when I was knocked over and fell down Stevie was watching”

“Oops”

“Yeah, oops.  Well it’s OK really because he came over to help me get back on my feet and make sure I was OK”

“Oh progress, and oh so sweet of him.  Anyway what did you do to the cyclist, and did he stop?”

“No, he didn't stop.  He rode on but did turn his head around to assess the damage probably.  And when he did turn around, I flipped him off, gave him the bird, you know”

“Ha ha, good on you mate”

“Yes I know.  But that is not the end of my story”

“Oh what else happened?”

“Well as you know my first class on Thursday’s is gym. And when I walked into the PE hall for the class, guess who was standing there?”

“Who?”

“Only the cyclist whom I had flipped off earlier this morning”

“Oh my word Gill.  What, Who, How and Why?”

“Mrs McCann, the normal teacher is off today as she is sick, so we had a substitute, the rude cyclist man”

“Oh my, how embarrassing”

“Yes, it was embarrassing but he also looked embarrassed. Probably ashamed that he nearly knocked me down and didn't even stop to see if I was ok”

“Good, so he should be. Did he even apologise to you”?

“No”

“Did you apologise to him?”

“Heck no”

“Good on you”

Flash Fiction: A Ghostly Perspective

Prompt: Write a scene from the perspective of a ghost who is watching her husband marry another woman.

I told him it was ok if he married someone else, once the cancer had taken me home.  But now watching them both happy and standing at the altar about to say I do, it is a completely different story.

Ok, first things first, it is not him getting married that I have the issue with, it is who he is marrying that I object to.  On my death bed I told my loving husband,  “Harry, I don’t want you to be sad when I am gone, so I want you to get married again if you meet the right person.  There is one condition though, you do not under any circumstances marry HER”

“Her, who is her?” Harry replied

“You know fine rightly who ‘her’ is, you know who I am talking about, that WOMAN, the one you have been sleeping with for the past six years”

“Woman dear, you have no idea what you are talking about?”

“Oh Garry, my dear, you are a useless liar, even though I am lying on my sick bed I still know you are cheating on me.  A wife always knows”

But Harry disobeyed my order and now I am standing in the church watching him about to commit the rest of his life to THAT WOMAN! How could he do that to me?  It just feels like a complete disrespect to me and our marriage.  But you know something?  He is not going to get away with this.  While I was alive I was the bane of his life, so he said, so now in my death I will continue to be the bane of his life – Forever. Because I am going to haunt him!! Ha ha ha 

TV Review: Sons of Anarchy - The End (Spoiler Alert)

I was anticipating a very long wait for Season 7 of Sons of Anarchy to become available on Netflix for free.  However I did not need to wait too long, as it became available on 29^th June. And I started watching it that day and within a week had finished the series and the season – it is addictive.

Season 7 was a great season, very gritty and some great story lines to boot.  It began in the wake of the death of Dr Tara Knowles (wife of Jax) and Jax makes vengeance on her murderers a club priority.  He believes it was the Chinese who murdered Tara and Eli Roosevelt, the Sheriff of Charming.

I think this season is probably the most violent, with a lot of murders happening individually and as machine gun rampages on groups.  Henry Lins crew (the Chinese) are tortured or put into prison, the same goes for August Mark’s crew (the blacks) and by the end they are all wiped out. 

A new group is introduced, the AB’s (White Supremacists) which is led by Tully (who is played by Marilyn Manson – he kind of fits the role).  He is in prison and plays a big part with juice when he is incarcerated.

However, these groups who are targeted by SAMCRO hit back and their businesses are targeted, leaving many people dead. It seems to be death after death.  It is all about vengeance and violent, as Jax tried to track down the truth.  What he doesn’t realise is that the killer is much close to them and not a member of another gang.  However, his 5 year old son Abel overhears his grandmother, Gemma, talking to his kid brother Thomas where she apologises to him for killing his mother. So now Abel knows the truth but no one knows he knows.  In a bid to get his grandmother into trouble, he stabs himself with a fork and says Gemma is the one to blame, even though she’s not.

Jax finds out the identity of his wife’s killer in the third episode from the end after Abel asks him why Granny killed mommy. This revelation leads to hurts within the family.  

In my opinion the last four episodes are the best in the whole season, if not the best in the whole seven seasons.  Episodes 1-9 are about seeking revenge and finding out who killed Tara as well as sorting out SAMCRO’s alliances.  Though episode 9 saw the death of a club member, one of the originals, Bobby – at the hands of August Marks.

Episode 10 which is entitled “Faith and Despondency” opens with all the SAMCRO members with partners.  They are trying to ease the pain of Bobby’s death.

Chibs is partnered with the new Sheriff of Charming – Sheriff Jarry.  It’s a relationship that will never really work as its one between a criminal and a police officer, but there is an attraction and chemistry between the two of them.  It’s an opposites attract relationship and one where both of them very much want to be the boss.

Another opposites attract relationship which is a wrong forbidden love is the one between Tig and Venus Van Dam (a transvestite).  They need and want each other but are not sure how to and Tig also wants to protect his reputation as well as his love.

Tig is attracted to Venus but feels uncomfortable around her at times – not knowing what to do.  This hits him more when he realises that his secret his out, that his crew know and so do other gangs. This leads him to kill a man in rage because a) he is confused and b) angry that his secret his out.

There is a very moving scene between the two of them – a very emotional scene and it is hard not to feel sorry for the two of them – they want and need each other but it is a very untraditional relationship.  Venus tells him, he is only with her to prove a point that he lives outside the box.  She tells him she has fallen in love with him.  Tig is unsure what to say so Venus continues saying that she is a in a criss-cross and is happy with where she’s at.  Tig admits he is in a criss-cross to in that he wants to be with her but not sure how to be with her.  Breaking into tears he tells her he wants to be his. They end up hugging.  It is good to know that not everyone is prejudiced. But it’s really not how you expect a man who loves violence to act. 

The actors who played Tig (Kim Coates) and Venus (Walter Goggin’s) produced some really great acting in this scene.

Also in this episode, Gemma, the tough matriarch of the family, who has been acting very Mrs Macbeth like during the season, finally breaks down as she knows her secret will come out and everything will end for her soon.

And the episode ends with Jax finding out the truth, so he know it is going to end for her pretty soon as episode 11 shows Jax being very determined to get the full story and goes to prison to visit Juice who confirms Abel’s story.  Jax realises all the deaths, hurts and pains caused recently where all for nothing.

Unser and Jarry also visit Juice in prison to get the truth about Tara’s death from him.  This is one of Juice’s best scenes – he won’t tell them the story but says “Gemma knows the truth about everything. Gemma knows every truth behind every lie inside every secret. She’s the gatekeeper” What a great line.  Juice knows Jax will have him killed and is reconciled to this now which is why he’s not seeking protection which Jarry could give him.  If Jax wants him dead he will find a way to have him killed.

Nero finds the truth from Jax about Gemma and it breaks his heart and his world. He loves Gemma but her lies are tearing everyone apart.  Next Jax tells the club members about Gemma and Juice’s involvement in Tara’s death.  They are completely stunned and can’t believe Gemma would do that.

Episode 12 which is the penultimate episode of the season and the series sees another original SAMCRO member die – Juice who is killed in prison at the hands of Tully.  Now there are only three remaining original SAMCRO members from season 1 still living – Jax, Tig and Chibs.

Jax is on the trail for Gemma who is on the way to see her Dad obviously to say goodbye to him.  Jax finds out where she is as does Unser and they both make their way up to her – Unser to arrest her but Jax says no and ends up killing Unser in the end.    So that leaves Gemma and Jax alone.  Gemma moves out into the garden and after wavering for a few moments Jax gets his revenge for Tara’s death.  More original characters dying – not many left now.

Now it’s the final episode – episode 14. Jax has now given custody of Abel and Thomas, his two boys, to Wendy (his ex-wife) and Nero – these are the only two people left who he can them with. He wants his boys to grow up and not follow in his footsteps.  Is this because he is going to meet Mr Mayhem – death at the hands of his club members.  They vote for is but does it happen?

Jax gives his President’s badge to Chibs who in turn gives the Vice President’s badge to Tig.  The only two remaining members of SAMCRO and the series from season 1.  

I must admit that I had tears in my eyes from the start of this episode – and my heart went out to Chibs and Tig as they are mourning their friends and their club.

Jax says goodbye to his boys, Wendy and Nero who are off to Nero’s farm.  He says goodbye to Chucky and he goes to the DA to tell he the truth of Tara’s death but the hands of his mother.  He goes back to his club and says goodbye to them. So he doesn’t meet Mr Mayhem.  He heads off on his dad’s old bike which he has had refurbished and rides to the free way with a huge police rail after him.  He drives on and in the end drives into a truck. So he doesn't meet Mr Mayhem but he still dies.  The club voted for him to meet Mr Mayhem as that was the right thing to do as he killed another club member, but Jax didn't want to put his brothers through that pain so he decided to do the right thing himself.

I thought at one point Jax wouldn’t die and that he was going to fake his own death, but no, he knew what he had to do. I was in tears in the end and will miss Sons of Anarchy, but I do think it ended in the right way.

I really enjoyed his series despite all the violence and sex, but season 7 was the best and the acting was great, especially by Charlie Humman who played Jax, Tommy Flannigan who played Chibs and Kim Coates who played Tig.

Kurt Sutter, the creator and writer sure made a hit TV show. 

Life; Questioning the Bible Characters

A couple of weeks ago in church, our Deaconess started off her talk by saying that one of the reasons she is looking forward in going to heaven is to meet the biblical legends and ask them questions that she has always wanted to ask them.  For example she has always wanted to ask Moses if he walked or ran across the parted red sea.  That is a good question and the answer would be interesting.

This got me thinking about biblical characters I would like to meet and what questions I would ask them.  

But before I asked any questions, I would like to tell a few people that despite their weaknesses (which we all have) I admire their great strength, courage and their faith in God:

• Noah – for building a boat despite people taunting him
•  Ruth – for following her mother-in-law to a place where she knew no one
•  Abraham – for preparing to sacrifice his child for God
• David  - for going up against Goliath with only a slingshot and five smooth stones

I would also like to say Thank You to David for being so open about how he felt in his songs, the Psalms.

Now to the questions:

• To Noah – how did you manage to keep all the different species of animals in the ark without them eating each other?
• To Joshua – did you not get tired blowing trumpets and walking continuously for six days?
• To Jonah – what was it like inside the belly of the whale?
• To the brothers of Joseph – how did you feel when you saw the brother you discarded had become the ruler of all Egypt?
• To the disciples – what was it like being with Jesus all the time?
• To the little boy whose lunch of five loaves and 2 fishes Jesus used to feed the 5,000 – What went through your mind that day when your little lunch fed so many people?
• To Zacchaeus – what was it like having Jesus staying at your house?
• To Paul -what exactly went through your mind on the road to Damascus?
• To Silas & Timothy – what was it like to work alongside Paul?

There are lots of other questions, especially to Jesus himself. However when it comes to Jesus, there are too many questions and sometimes it is best we do not know the answers and just follow him and trust him.

Flash Fiction: Cut Short

Cut Short

It had been years since they last saw civilisation, having been locked up behind bars for 10 years for a crime they did not even commit.  It had been a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yes, for both of them. Sounds a bit strange doesn’t it, that two people could just happen to be in a bank when it was being robbed. Not that strange really, I suppose when you think about, many people are in banks to cash money etc. However, the being in the wrong place at the wrong time defence did not really hold up for these two men – since they were apparently in the wrong place at the wrong time wearing balaclavas and holding guns! But still they claim innocence and say they were setup!

The jury and the judge of course did not believe them, so they got sent down for fifteen years for committing a crime and obstructing the course of justice!  But now after good behaviour, they were being let out five years early. How lucky they were!

Lucky, would not be the word they would use at this moment. They were only 18 when they entered prison and had become men inside.  The things they saw or experienced is not what normal 18 year olds would want to go through. They went in innocent but confused young men but left hardened and yet scared men.

After so many years away how would they fit back into life? It was not going to be easy. Everything was different, people had changed, friends and family walked away from them. They were going to have to forge a new life for themselves, they just couldn’t go out and slot back into the one that they had when they were 18. No, life had continued on without them.

They knew it would be a hard slog to fit back in again and trying to make friends and restore old relationships. But they had each other. They decided if they managed to cope inside and stay alive then they would manage living out in the real world. They had each other, and as they discovered this was all they needed. They had told themselves that being out in the real world would be better than life was inside. No more bullying or people out to get them!

No one was at the prison to pick them up, they were left to make their own way home, wherever home now was. They had nowhere to go. But they had each other.  They walked over to the bus stop and waited for a bus, any bus would do, any bus that would take them away from the hell hole they had just left.

However what they didn’t realise, was that at the bus stop, their lives were about to change forever and not in a way that they had expected.  Five guys on Harley’s motorbikes wearing cuts drove past them filling the two men with bullets from their guns. 

The two men were out of prison at last, they were embarking on their new life outside.  But their new found freedom did not last very long – their lives were stolen in revenge for the crime they apparently did not commit!

Flash Fiction: The Man with the Sunglasses

Write a scene about a character who wears sunglasses all the time

“Do you know what maddens me?”

“What?”

“People who wear sunglasses all the time, especially when they are indoors.  Come on, what’s all that about, what’s the point? Is it a vanity thing, an arrogance thing or just being a total plonker thing?”

“Why are you asking me, what would I know about it?”

“Because in case you haven’t noticed, you are one of those annoying people who never takes their sunglasses off. The world wants to see your eyes, are you embarrassed by them?”

“But you know I only wear them because I have sensitive eyes – they can’t cope with all the flashing bright lights which follow me everywhere”

“Oh you poor soul, poor sensitive soul”

“Hey, stop being so horrible, you are meant to be my friend”

“I am your friend, which is why I am saying what I am saying. I am telling you the truth, but all wrapped in friendly love”

“But you don’t need to hurt my feelings. Why you never mentioned this before?”

“I have and you don’t listen. And I thought the fact that your sunglasses were always getting stolen or broken would give you the hint to stop wearing them”

“Is that you always doing that, don’t you know how expensive replacing those glasses is, you know how much each individual pair costs?”

“A lot of money but you have it so it doesn't matter!”

“What you done with the stolen sunglasses?”

“Sold them on ebay – made a lot of money from them, everyone seems to want a piece of you”

“I want the money then”

“No, you can’t have it.”

“Why not? They were my sunglasses, so the money is rightfully mine”

“Why you need the money, you are rich”

“To buy more sunglasses of course!”

“Well you can’t have the money, I have given it all to charity”

“Charity? Why?”

“Is that a problem for you? I thought you were all about charity? That’s what you are always going on about anyway, give the money to those who need it.  So I am doing what you keep telling us to do!”