Culture: The Year That Was– 2016

Well we have come to the end of 2016 and what a year it has been – it will certainly make the history books for a variety of reasons.

Celebrity Deaths 

It has probably been the worse year for Celebrity deaths – starting off with Pat Harrington (actor) on 6 January and ending with Debbie Reynolds on 29 December (actress) – 72 in total. What a year.

There are too many for me to list so here is list of those who made an important impact on people’s lives in one way or another:

• David Bowie – Musician & Actor  - January 10
• Alan Rickman – Actor – January 14
• Glenn Frey – Musician  (The Eagles) – January 18
• Maurice White – Musician  (Earth, Wind & Fire)– February 3
• Nancy Reagan – Former First Lady of the United States – March 6
• Garry Shandling – Comedian & Actor – March 24
• David Gest  - Entertainer & Producer – April 12
• Prince – Musician – April 21
• Nick Menzie – Musician (Megadeth) – May 21
• Muhammed Ali – Boxer  - June 3
• Jo Cox – Minister of Parliament  - June 16
• Michael Cimino – Director (The Deer Hunter)  - July 2
• Garry Marshall – Director (Happy Days & Mork + Mindy) – July 19
• David Huddleston  - Actor  (Santa Clause the Movie) – August 2
• Kenny Baker – Actor (R2 D2) – August 13
• Gene Wilder  - Actor – August 29
• Arnold Palmer – Golfer – September 25
• Leonard Cohen – Musician – November 7
• Robert Vaughan – Actor – November 11
• Fidel Castro  - Former Prime Minister of Cuba & Revolutionary  - November 25
• John Glenn – Astronaut & first American to circle the Earth – December 8
• Alan Thicke – Actor (Growing Pains) - December 13
• Liz Smith – Actress – December 24
• George Michael  - Musician – December 25
• Carrie Fisher – Actress-  December 27th
• Debbie Reynolds – Actress – December 29^th

British News

BREXIT – the UK voted to leave the European Union in June which led to David Cameron resigning as Prime Minister and leading the way for the second female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom – Theresa May and a new cabinet including Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary!

The BREXIT Campaign was unravelled to be full of lies and even though he got what he wanted ( to make Great Britain Great again), Nigel Farage quit as leader of UKIP – for a second time!!

Sadiq Khan was voted Mayor of London, making him the first Muslim Mayor of a major western city.

World News

America voted Donald Trump to be the 45th  President of the United States of America!! 

ISIS struck again and again:

• Bombing at Brussels Airport & Maalbeek metro station  on 22 March killing  35 people and injuring 300 
• Bombing at Ataturk Airport, Istanbul  on 28 June killing 45 people and injuring 230
• 19 tonne cargo truck driven into Promenade des Anglais in Nice, France on Bastille Day 14 July  killing 86 people and injuring 434 
• A truck ran into a Christmas Market in Berlin, Germany on 19 December killing 12 people and inuring 48
• And many bombs in Turkey, Iraq, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia 
• Also knife & machete attacks in France, Germany, United States and Belgium

The continuing war in Syria

Zika Virus Outbreak leaving a lot of pregnant women worried

Barack Obama visited Cuba making him the first President of the United States to visit the country since 1928 

Egypt Air Flight M8804 went missing over the Mediterranean en route Paris to Cairo

Plane crashed in Colombia killing 71 footballer players from the Brazilian Chapecoense team

Battle of Mosul in Iraq 

Ceasefire agreement signed between Colombian Government and FARC rebels ending more than 50 years of conflict in Colombia

Commemoration of the Battle of the Somme  - 100 years

Commemoration of the Easter Rising in 1916 (Ireland) - 100 years  

Sporting Triumphs

Andy Murray won Wimbledon for the second time

Leicester City won the Premiership - the underdogs did good

Team GB did very well in Rio 2016 Olympics winning

• 27 Gold
• 23 Silver
• 17 Bronze 

A total of 67 medals for Team GB

And not forgetting the Paralympics where Team GB won 147 medals

• 64 Gold
• 39 Silver
• 44 Bronze  

Ireland Rugby Team beat the All Blacks 40 - 29  - the first time the Irish have ever beaten the world leaders in Rugby - New Zealand.

Northern Ireland Football Team made it to Euro 2016 - the first time they have ever been in the European tournament.  They made it to the last 16.  

All in all a very varied year - not a good one for celebrities and a couple of political upsets and the continuation of terrorism - what will 2017 hold for us all? 

Book Review: I Used to Know That: Stuff you Forgot from School: Caroline Taggart

After reading Caroline Taggart’s book on Grammar I decided to read more of her work as her writing is very interesting, informative as well as educational.

I Used to Know that covers topics taught in school - English, Maths, History, Geography, General Studies and Science.

I learnt a lot from reading this book especially as it covered information that was never taught in my school or else I don’t remember being taught!! The latter being more likely!  For example some of the Maths stuff was new to me, but then Maths was never my strong point and even on reading this chapter I still struggled with all the division, trigonometry etc. etc.

The Science chapter was excellent and probably the section I loved the best as I know we didn’t cover much of that subject in school – our teacher wasn’t very good. This section was split into three: Biology, Chemistry and Physics. I recommend this book if it’s only for the scientific stuff.

This book is a light hearted but also informative. Reading this book can help you in many ways - to reignite your mind and memory, to help your kids doing their homework, or to help you brush up on trivia for a pub quiz!!

So if you have forgotten what the capital of Mozambique is, which books were written by Charles Dickens, where oxygen comes in the periodic table, or which of Henry V’s wives were beheaded and which one survived, then this book is a certain for you.

Book Review: All the Little Guns Went Bang, Bang, Bang by Neil McKay

Set in Antrim, Northern Ireland, All the Little Guns Went Bang, Bang, Bang tells the story of Pearse Furlong and May-Belle Mulholland, two eleven year olds who became friends even though they have very little in common except for the fact that they both have a shared experience of violent abusive parents.

If you are of a nervous disposition this book may not be for you - it is described as a blackly comic tale but I am not sure if there is any comedy in it, to me it reads like a tragedy. The book disturbed me in the things that these two kids get up to, as what started out as harmless fantasies turns into something much darker with theft, arson, brutality and eventually much worse.

However dark the book is, it is a sad story an shows how the society one grows up in can dictate how you turn out – especially if there is no guidance from parents – and it does make you feel some empathy towards Pearse and May-Belle, especially having grown up in Northern Ireland and seeing the damage that was done in the past and how it affects the future for the people who have been directly or indirectly involved in ‘The Troubles’

Book Review: Anywhere but Nineveh: A month's journey with Jonah - Frank Sellar

In August the Ministry team at my church did a sermon series on Jonah – it was really interesting and got me wanting to learn more about Jonah the person and Jonah the book.

Anywhere but Nineveh is a thirty day devotional book which goes through the book of Jonah. Jonah is a small book, it only has four chapters, and in this devotional the author Frank Sellar (Moderator of Presbyterian Church in Ireland) takes one verse a day at a time – expanding the text and making Jonah’s story relevant to today.

The devotional book reminds us that Jonah is more than a story about a whale. Jonah was a real person and his story was real.

I enjoyed this book as it helped me understand Jonah better and how this Old Testament book is linked to the New Testament and points us to the One who is greater than Jonah – the one who didn’t run away – Jesus. 

Book Review: Exodus for You - Tim Chester

Exodus for You is an exploration of Exodus – a study guide to help the reader learn more about the second book of the Bible – Exodus.

From reading this book alongside Exodus I have discovered that Exodus is more than a story of a burning bush, more than a story of the parting of the red sea and that those chapters which give a very long detailed report on building the tabernacle are not boring, they are actually interesting and very important to the bible and Christianity.

Exodus is a story of deliverance from oppression but it is also more than that, it is a story of liberation, sacrifice, God’s Presence, Servitude & Worship, Mission and All Creation – in fact it is Our Story.

Exodus is called Exodus due to the departure of the Israelite's out of slavery in Egypt – and this sets God’s story on a trajectory that comes to a climax with life, death and resurrection of Jesus.

God helped free the Israelite's from slavery in Egypt and led them to the Promised Land and Jesus sets US free from being slaves to sin by dying on the cross for us.

The book of Exodus is the key to understanding the person and work of Jesus. It reveals the means of our Salvation (redemption through sacrifice) and the context of our Salvation – enjoying God’s presence in a world made now.

Exodus is exciting, it is historical and as it points us to and inspires us to worship - it is Our Story.

Tim Chester really brings the story of Exodus to life and it made me realise just how important all the events in Exodus are and how they affect my story as a Christian today.

Exodus for You is part of a series called ‘God’s Word for You” and they are written in order to take you to the heart of a book of the Bible and apply the truth to your heart.

I really recommend this book but also the series as a whole as they are well written and help you delve deeper into the bible which will help you grow in your faith. 

Movie Review: Dear Santa

The Christmas Movies continue and today I watched ‘Dear Santa’ which was released in 2011. Again it’s a bit cheesy but it’s still a cool movie. It is again a bit like the story of scrooge, except there is no bah humbug, just a misdirection of life.

The story focus on Crystal Carruthers (played by Amy Acker) who is a thirty year old woman who loves shopping, spending her wealthy parent’s money and not doing much else. Her parents feel she needs to get serious about like and tell her she has to Christmas to get her life in order.

While looking in a shop window a letter which has fallen out of the post box flies into Crystal’s arms. It is a Dear Santa letter from a little girl who wishes for a mum as her own mum died a few years ago and her dad has been miserable since and she just wants a mum again. So Crystal decides to take matters into her own hands and appears in their lives in order to get the Dad (Derek) to fall in love with her as she thinks that would solve her problems and get her parents off her back.

Crystal is being very selfish in what she is doing. 

In order to endear herself to Derek, (played by David Haydn-Jones)  Crystal volunteers in his soup kitchen serving the homeless – at the start she was not wanting to really touch the homeless but gradually she begins to see the people who they really are  - people, and in turn she changes and is starting to become a more caring person.

Crystal makes friends with Olivia, (played by Emma Duke) Derek’s daughter and the girl who wrote the letter and they become friends. You can see that Derek is starting to fall for Crystal but there is a problem, he has a girlfriend who is determined to get her claws into Derek much to the annoyance of Olivia as she does not like her and doesn’t want her as a mother figure.

However this girlfriend Jillian (played by Gina Holden) exposes Crystal as a liar and turns Derek against her. 

The subplot of the movie is that Derek cannot afford to keep the soup kitchen open and Crystal seeing the pain of the homeless decides to use the $10,000 check she got from her parents, their final payment to support her, to keep the soul kitchen open.  Soon after Derek is driving past the soup kitchen and discovers it is open and on asking Pete - the chef – what is happening Pete tells him that maybe it was fate that brought the letter to Crystal and then Crystal to him.

Derek goes home to say goodnight to Olivia but discovers she is not in bed, he goes to look for her and finds her by the town Christmas tree with Crystal. Just as she tells the girl that she found her letter to Santa, Derek arrives, apologizes to her, and the three embrace each other.

The movie ends with all three of them eating their Christmas Dinner at the Soup Kitchen, all happy.

It is a feel good movie and about a lost woman finding her purpose in life. I enjoyed it and it made me smile. 

Movie Review: 12 Dates of Christmas

Last night after coming home from the Carol Service my church, I felt very festive so decided to watch a Christmas movie, so I did – I watched Nativity starring Martin Freeman as a primary school teacher who is in charge of putting on a Nativity Play – it was a very funny, cute, heart-warming movie. 

After that I then decided to watch a Christmas every day from now until Christmas Day and even maybe up to the New Year. Today I watched 12 Dates of Christmas, a movie which was on Channel 5.

I thought the 12 Dates of Christmas would be a cheesy Christmas movie but decided to watch it anyway, because Christmas movies always make me smile. 

The 12 Dates of Christmas stars Amy Smart as Kate who finds herself reliving Christmas Eve over and over again. This includes going on a date with Miles (played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar) as well as trying to win back her old boyfriend Jack.   

The premise of the movie is for Kate to discover how to break the cycle or reliving Christmas Eve – a bit like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day – should she attempt to win back Jack or should she pursue Miles or is there something else for her.

Kate is quite a selfish person - she was rude to Miles on the first Christmas Eve date, she left him to go after her ex who turned her down anyway.  She was rude to her neighbour who baked her a cake for the holidays. She was rude to her step mother when she went round her dinner. She was basically a sourpuss who only wanted one thing – her ex back.

During the 12 days that she relives Christmas Eve, Kate is on a journey of finding herself and becoming  a nicer person – to me it’s a bit like the Christmas Carol and Scrooge. Scrooge was a miserable man and due to the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future he changes and starts being nice to people. This is exactly what Kate does – she becomes nice, she is nice to her neighbour and ends up setting her up with a man she met in a shop. She starts to be nicer to her step-mother. She bakes with her neighbour and helps another lost soul who was waiting for a blind date in the same pub she was meeting Miles in.

Throughout the “12 dates” Kate starts to realise she does not need Jack and starts to fall for Miles. It is a feel good movie that makes you smile, even if it is a bit cheesy. But a good thing about it - Zak from Saved by the Bell is in it.

I am looking forward to the tomorrow and my next movie – not sure what it will be! Tis the season!

Literature: The Joy of Books

I must admit I stole the following post from John Grisham about the benefits of reading.  

So according to John Grisham, someone who has written more books than I have had hot dinners!! and who always gives us a good read, what are the benefits of reading?

• Well he says they are and I tend to agree:
• increased knowledge
• expanded horizons
• improved vocabulary
• sharpened thinking
• and enhanced empathy

Mr Grisham goes on to say that books are great to give as gifts, and I also agree. He says that the ten most fundamental reasons people should give books for birthdays, Christmas or just because is that:

• Books are easier to wrap than footballs or fruit baskets
• Books don't break
• Once someone has finished with a book, it is not empty, in fact it is still full
• No batteries are needed
• You don't have to put a book together, its already been done for you
• Books don't make noises that would alarm pets
• You don't need to iron, wash or maintain a book in anyway 
• Books are non-perishable
• There is a book for everyone - they come in all sizes, colours etc
• Books will never be lost
• Books will never be forgotten
• And giving a book gives someone boundless access to other words and other lives both real and imagined.

I have bought books for three people this Christmas: my dad, my mum and my uncle - all three people are very different and all books chosen are very different and will appeal to those they have been bought for. I love receiving books and also like getting book tokens so can choose which book to read.

I have been bought many a book or voucher over the years as people know that books and reading are what make me tick. I read anything - children's, teen, Christian, fiction, non-fiction etc And I have read many of John Grisham's book as well.

Movie Review: The Fault in Our Stars

Wow, what a movie. I loved The Fault in Our Stars, it was sad, full of hope, love, joy, funny – it was a mixture of emotions.

The Fault in Our Stars follows Hazel, a teenager who has cancer and is forced by her parents and doctor to go to a support group for teenagers who have cancer.  Hazel really doesn’t want to go but she goes anyway in order to make her mum happy.  Making her mum happy is what Hazel sees is the purpose of her life now.

Hazel’s mum urges Hazel to make new friends and the support group and this is what Hazel does – well she makes one friend Augustus Waters who goes by the name of Gus.   Gus had cancer in his leg and due to this had to undergo an amputation of the leg, and now has a prosthetic leg.

Gus and Hazel become friends and exchange books with Hazel giving Gus her favourite book, “An Imperial Affliction” written by Peter Von Houston which is about a cancer stricken girl named Anne.  Hazel loves this book as she feels is parallel’s her own experience of having cancer.

Gus finishes reading the book but struggles with the ending as the book finishes in the middle of a sentence, which irritates Gus as he wants a proper conclusion to the story.  In order to settle his curiosity Gus tracks down the writer, Peter Van Houston, which ends up in Hazel and Gus going to Amsterdam to visit him.

However, before they go to Amsterdam Hazel gets sick again and tries to end things with Gus and just be his friend, however Gus won’t stand for this. 

The trip to Amsterdam goes ahead despite the doctors not really approving.  Despite looking forward to the trip and meeting Peter Van Houston, it ends in disaster, well meeting the author does and getting a conclusion to the book is a painful experience.  However in terms of the relationship between Hazel and Gus, it is a success as they grow closer and finally admit they both love each other.

On the final day of the trip, Gus tells Hazel that his cancer is back with vengeance and the rest of the movie is about the two of them and their relationship which they continue even though they know it’s not going to be happily ever after.

The Fault in Our Stars is a sad movie, but it is also a movie of choices – a choice of loving now and loving with all you have got, or not loving and losing out on that love.  It is a movie which tells you that you need to be happy with your choices and go all in with what you decide.  It is also a movie about loss, growing up, making memories and above all having hope.

The characters in the movie are strong and the actors who played Hazel and Gus were amazing. I truly recommend this movie but don’t get too sad when watching it, remember life is good and life is not about the circumstances but about how you deal with the circumstances.

Books Review: The Marble Collector by Cecilia Ahern

I really liked this book and the way it is told by two people – Fergus Boggs and his daughter Sabrina. 

Sabrina thought that she knew all about her dad, but on finding his marble collection in the middle of other possessions that were collected from his flat, and on hearing stories from his marble friends and his family, she realises that she did not truly know him nor did anyone else really.

The Marble Collector is a story of family, love, friendship, lies, marbles, being lost and above all it is a story of discovery – not only for Sabrina, but also for Fergus himself as he relives his childhood memories and faces a way back from memory problems that were brought on by a stroke and have left him feeling lost and cut off from the world.

I have read most of Cecilia Ahern’s book – just have another two to catch up on – and apart from her first novel P.S I love you, this is in my opinion one of her best novels.  It is a great read and a very engaging story. I really do recommend it. 

Book Review: The Anxious Christian by Rhett Smith

Can God use your anxiety for good?

I suffer from anxiety and have been told by some people that anxiety if ‘un-Christian’ - however on reading Rhett Smith’s book I realise what I knew all along – they are wrong.  It is ok to be a Christian and be anxious.

In the Anxious Christian, Rhett Smith tells his personal story of living with anxiety and through this and using biblical thinking, Rhett argues that, rather than being destructive or shameful, anxiety can be a catalyst for our spiritual growth.

I learnt a lot from reading this book – ways to deal with my anxiety in the different areas of my life e.g. work and relationships. I learnt to not worry about having anxiety but being ok with it and not letting the anxiety rule my life in a destructive way.  I learnt that the best thing to do is give my anxiety to God and ask Him to use it for His greater good.

I thoroughly recommend this book to anyone suffering from anxiety and to anyone who knows someone who suffers from anxiety. It is very well written and has lots of good sound personal and biblical advice. 

MS: Giving thanks in a relapse

A few weeks ago I was in the middle of an MS relapse and I wrote a few thoughts done but never actually got around to posting it on the blog as I have been very lax with the blog recently.

Anyway during the relapse I was feeling very low and my mind was going down routes which I did not life, so I decided that the best thing to do was to be thankful. I made a list of things that I was thankful for starting from the beginning of my relapse which was on the 4th October and lasted about a month. During the relapse I had to walk using a stick for part of it as the feeling in my right hand side had decreased and my balance was shot too.

So here is what I was thankful for:

Family
Church
A walking stick to help me walk
God
Doctors
Medication to help me
Lifts in cars
People sitting with me in Church while others stood up to sing
My camera
Harvest
Reflexology
Work - though it has been tough and I had to decrease my hours from 30 to 16.
MS Quiz Night
Friends
Bed
Rest
Fresh Air
TV / Netflix
Prayer
My Kindle
Books
The Bible
Tea
Toast - for some reason I had a craving for Toast during the worst week of the relapse
Chocolate
Music
Facebook / Twitter

Movie Review: God's Not Dead 2

Following on from God’s Not Dead, there is another movie, this time it is called, wait for it – God’s Not Dead 2.  This time the film follows a teacher who is on trial for bringing Jesus into a discussion on Ghandi and Martin Luther King into the classroom.

The school suspends Miss Wesley for her actions and a court case starts with the defence lawyers trying to prove the teacher was innocent and the prosecutor trying to prove that God doesn’t exist – that he is actually dead.

This involves soul searching by some people, namely the girl Brooke who asked the question in class. She becomes a Christian despite her parents being against Christianity and who are the parents who brought this trial to court as they didn’t want their daughter being exposed to religion.  However, it turns out that Brooke’s brother, who died, was on a journey with Christ as well – and this makes Brooke questions her own faith.

The court case is going – well it seems to be going the way of the prosecutors. There is a minister on the jury but he had to leave due to taking appendicitis which makes the persecution claim that there is obviously no God as the defence team have now lost their only hope to winning the case.

The people who take the stand are very interesting including Lee Strobel who was an atheist but became a Christian when he set out to write a book to prove that God didn’t actually exist – however instead of proving his point, Strobel realised that God does exist and has since become a Christian.

Then there is another guy who sets out to prove that the eye witness accounts of the four gospels are all true and the reason why there are differences is because they are four different people – and when remembering details, these all differ from person to person as we all see things differently.

The case starts to look now that the defence may be winning.  Then enters Brooke, the 17 year old girl who asked the question in class. She wants to stand up for her teacher in court and set the story straight – to say that it was she who asked the question and all Miss Wesley did was answer it, and in a reasonable manner.

All Miss Wesley did was answer a questions on a historical figure in a history class – and even if people do not believe in God, they cannot deny that there are other people who do believe in God and that historians have proven that God did exist.

Brooke admits in court that she has become a Christian, much to her parent’s annoyance. On hearing this the prosecutor blames Miss Wesley for converting this child to Christianity.  The jury are now again on the side of the persecution.

During the case Miss Wesley feels our world is collapsing all around, so she does what she knows how to, she calls out to God to help her, which is what she should do at all times – even when we feel that God is not with us, He is.

At the end of the trial people are sitting outside the court holding hands and supporting Miss Wesley and someone says the most important words, “God’s got this” – and yes He does. God has got everything under control – He always does.

Then Miss Wesley is brought onto the stand and is asked to apologise for what she said in class, but she says she cannot do that because she has nothing to say sorry for.  Her lawyer is taking her through hell on the stand, and we are not sure why. But then he asks her to say the question that Jesus asked her “Who do you say I am?”  - And the answer “Jesus is the living Christ. He is personal to us all”

Now it is up to the jury to decide if Miss Wesley is guilty – and is God dead or isn’t He?

At this point in the movie I start to feel for Miss Wesley as her lawyer has just been very nasty to her on the stand and she feels all lost and alone.

We now jump to a Newsboys concerts where Michael Tait, the lead singer, asks the audience to pray for Miss Wesley at the time – this is showing that prayer does work. 

Now back in the courtroom, the jury have reached a decision - they find the defendant not guilty.  Some people are happy with the decision and some people are not happy.

As for the question if God alive or dead? – We are always going to have those people who say that He is dead and those who say He is not dead, he is very much alive.

The important part of the movie is that Miss Wesley stood up for what she believe in and that is something we all should do.

Book Review: Plain Faith: A True Story of Tragedy, Loss and Leaving the Amish: Ora Jay & Irene Eash

Plain Faith is a true story of Ora-Jay and Irene Eash, Amish farmers originally from Indiana but now living in northwest Montana whose lives changed in an instant when a semi-truck struck the family buggy, killing their two young daughters.

Devastated by the accident and the loss of their two girls, the couple turned to the Amish community for comfort, but they remained haunted by the thought that they might not see their girls again in heaven. Would their deeds be good enough?

Having grown up believing in faith by good works, Ora-Jay and Irene eventually learned that it grace that would ensure their place in eternity. And with this knowledge soon came the realisation that they could no longer living in an Amish community who didn’t share this belief.  Soon began a journey of learning, growing and discovering the hope that is in heaven, a hope stronger than the loss of their children, family, and a way of life – leading to a complete change of life and moving away from the Amish community.

This is a very interesting book about the Amish community from which I learned a lot about how they live and what their faith is actually like.  I recommend this book to everyone, it’s not just a book for those who are religious, it is a book for everyone and all will resonate with this tale of courage, resilience and the redemption found in the grace of Jesus. 

Book Review: My Grammar and I..... by Caroline Taggart

My Grammar and I… is a very eye opening book. I thought I remembered everything from school and university but it seems as if I have gone back to old habits and writing wrongly. 

This book is a refresher course for those who have been stumped by spelling confusion, dangling modifiers, split infinities or for those who have no idea what these things are.  It is a clever, informative and fun book and offers practical and humorous guidance on how to avoid falling into language pitfalls.

I thought I knew everything about grammar before I read this book and realised that there was lots I didn’t know especially when it came to Elements of Style.

I recommend this book to those who are writers, those who are in school and to those who just want to refresh their memory. 

MS: Relapsing

For the past couple of weeks I have been relapsing in my MS – pains, numbness,  low moods, hot sweats, on steroids, needed to use a stick a while – life hasn’t felt too good.

But I kept going. I went out, I did things. I went to work and then at the weekend my body decided enough was enough, it needed rest. So I gave in and have it rest. Should learn that I need to do this at the start of relapses instead of in the middle of them. 

The thing is when your body needs rest your mind doesn’t know when to shut off – and you are sitting at home, resting but feeling sorry for yourself – feeling lonely.

Why do our minds and bodies never hold a meeting and decide to behave at the same time?

I am ok on my own most of the time, but then like everyone else I slump and go into the ground.  I watch TV but it doesn’t always help.  I read but it’s not always a good distraction due to concentration issues.  I colour in, that does help a bit.  I eat but that makes me feel fat.

I am off work with no energy so can’t really go out, but then I have nowhere really to go to.  My body says rest.  As a Christian I feel I should always be content with my situation but it’s hard to feel happy all the time.  I go turn to God but then the devil likes to come and play.  He tells me lies.  Tells me nobody cares about me, tells me I will always be alone, tells me that I am stupid, tells me I am a  failure and I am weak and no one cares about me. 

My mind chooses to believe the lies at times – what am I doing? I am letting the circumstances control me, instead of looking at the big picture.  I am loved – loved by God and also loved by people.  I am alone but I am not alone.

So what do you guys do when you are in the low moods? How do you pick yourself up?

Maybe I need more hobbies. I love writing but more recently this has been hard to do – my muse has gone on holiday.

The best things to do and it is the hardest is to focus on what is true. I am loved and I am doing ok. 

Yes we are doing ok.  Think the key is to stop trying to over live, all we can do is love one day at a time, which can be hard to do but it is the key.  And remember, you are doing ok.

Book Review: Towers of Tuscany by Carol M Cram

This book was recommended to me by a friend.  I found it slow to get into at the start but it intrigued me, the writing was good and the characters were interesting, especially the main character Sofia.  

Sofia Carducci is a daughter of a painter but it unable to proceed with her passion of painting because she is a women and painting is for men and not women.  This greatly annoys Sofia but she is a strong women and claims the right to make her own decisions and her own mistakes as well.  Her first mistake is convincing her father to let her marry Giorgio Carell, a wealthy saffron merchant in San Gimignano, the Tuscan city of towers.

Sofia believes that when she is married she can still continue to paint but this is not the case, and the ends up in a loveless marriage with a man who comes to despise her when she does not produce a son.  However, she still has her father, until that he is taken away from her in an attack motivated by vendetta.

This attack motivates Sofia to act and she decides to try and free herself by running away from the misery she is in. She ends up in Siena and under the disguise of a boy she begins to pain again in Maestro Manzini’s workshop.  On doing this Sofia enters a life of disguise and that of mis-trust as well – she mistrusts those around her worried that her secret will come out – which would in turn destroy her and those around her as well.

Towers of Tuscany is a story of love, passion, desire, disguise, mis-trust, death, survival, friendship, family as well as painting.  It is a story you get invested in because the author makes you care deeply for Sofia, which is in truth great writing.  I was for Sofia from the beginning, routing for her, hoping she would succeed in her actions and that life would turn out happy for her.    To me this book is a must read and I look forward to reading more by Carol Cram. 

TV Reviews - Crime Dramas

I have been watching a lot of crime dramas on TV recently and they are not all very straight forward.

What have I been watching? Well, there was DCI Banks on ITV. That was straight forward detective drama – very intense and sad episodes but fantastic viewing as always.  Then there is The Fall – not a patch on the first two seasons but it is still compelling viewing and am looking forward to seeing where it has to go and whether Paul Spector will be brought to justice.

So what are the confusing crime dramas? Well there is Paranoid on ITV – to me this is very confusing and annoying but yet am still going back every week to watch it.  The characters are very annoying especially the police woman Nina – she seems to be a typical women needing a man to feel like they are worth something.  Then there is Alec – he has a strange history with his mother – am wondering what the back story is here?

For me in this drama the acting seems very forced and I am not really into it. The storyline is all confusing as well – who has killed who? Who is on the run? Who is the Ghost detective?

And we move over to Germany, why do we do that? There is just confusion for me and I don’t like it, yet am still watching it every week. Why? Because I need to know how it turns out.

Then there is Level, which is also on ITV – another confusing drama.  What’s the story? Someone was murdered, the police are investigating it and one of the police is involved – not in the murder but she is being chased by the murderers. What is going on?

Then there is another policeman who seems to be involved, we don’t know what but he is and he and Nancy are running after each other, wary of each other. Corrupt police! There is a deadly knot here and someone is the murder of La Saux.

There are more questions and then answers in the Level. Who is Gunnar? What is his involvement in the case? What does Nancy’s dad have to do with it all? What will happen to Nancy?  It is very confusing crime drama but also compelling too.  I am still watching even though am confused because I need to know what happens.

That’s the problem with our brains – they are weird to need to do what happens. 

Language: Language is Confusing!

 In 2012 while living in Peru I embarked in learning a new language – Spanish – it was hard going but I picked it up. I am not fluent but I got by and still can. I seem to understand more Spanish then I can speak, but that is a good thing.

I thought Spanish was a hard language to learn because of all the different conjugations and past, present, subjunctive participles etc. But then my Peruvian friends said that English was far more difficult language to learn. And I wondered why.

Well, one of the reasons is because we have so many words that sound the same even if they are spelt differently and this can be very confusing for a learner.  

So what are some of these words?

There                    Their

Where                  Wear

Hear                      Here

Fair                        Fare

Pail                         Pale

Knot                      Not

Plain                      Plane

Beech                   Beach

Weather              Whether

It can be hard for non-native speakers to pick up the different meanings of the words, and it is hard for us native speakers as well!!

And did you know what to call such a word that sounds the sane as another word but differs in meaning? – It is called a homophone.

I learnt that new today. It is always good to learn something new every day.

And then to add to the confusion of the English language – there are differences between the English spoken in America, Britain, Australia, South Africa etc. But Spanish is just as confusing as every country that speaks it, speaks it differently and words can have mean different things too like they can in the different English’s!

Language is confusing.   

Book Review: After the Crash by Michel Bussi

After the Crash

Michael Bussi

This book was recommended to me by a friend and after reading the first few pages I wondered why she thought it was so good, but then I got into the book and I couldn't actually put it down.

After the Crash starts off on the night of 22 December 1980, when a plane crashes in the mountains of the Franco-Swiss border and is engulfed in flames. There were 169 passengers on board and only one of them survived, all the others were killed instantly. The miraculous sole survivor is a three months baby girl who becomes involved in a tug of hour between two families claiming to own her – one rich and the other poor. This sparks an investigation that will last for almost two decades. Is the baby Lyse Rose or Emilie?

It’s the 1980s so DNA testing has not taken off yet, so a private detective called Crédule Grand-Duc is hired to find out the truth behind who the baby girl is. This leads to a lot of angst within himself, between the families themselves and within the girl herself. It also brings out of red herrings and plot twists and brings about many themes for us to get into, ranging from murder, madness, deceit, heartache and love – it is a tale of suspense and with many twists and turns you are left guessing to the end. 

Book Review: At the Edge of the Orchard by Tracy Chevalier

Set in America during the 1800’s, At the Edge of the Orchard is a book full of many themes – on reading the first few pages I thought the book was going to just be about apples, and yes they do play an important part in the book, but there is more to it than that. It is a story of relationships, hardships, loneliness, loss, perseverance, sickness, death and pain.

The story is split into different parts. The first section tells the story of the Goodenough Family, headed up by James and Sadie, who live in the Black Swamp, Ohio. The family work relentlessly to tame their patch of land and maintaining the apple trees they have planted. But it is a long battle for all and the first few chapters are basically an argument in words between James and Sadie – him versus her - all about apples. James wants to grow the apples to eat whereas Sadie prefers to make applejack - she finds refuge in the alcohol from the loneliness and hardships of life.

The second part follows Robert, the youngest son on a journey throughout America, running from the past of his broken family and looking for solace, which he finally finds in the form of trees.  Robert gets a job collecting seeds for an Englishman who sends new found plants to his father in England. However Robert discovers that no matter how long you run for your past does catch up on you.

As like other novels by Chevalier, this is one of these books which intrigues you from the start – and makes you want to read to the end to find what happens next. 

Faith: God conquered chaos

God conquered chaos. Wow, what a phrase that is and oh how so true, and it doesn’t stop in the past as God still conquers chaos.  He conquers chaos in the individual lives of people and globally throughout the world. It may not seem like he does, but he does.

During the time of Noah, God was not pleased with the way the world was going – “The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on earth….” Genesis 6 v 5

The Lord was so disappointed that he “….. regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, an his heart was deeply troubled” Genesis 6 v 6

So He decided to “wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created….”Genesis 6 v 7

The Lord was so troubled, he decided that in order to conquer the chaos sin had created, he would send a flood to wipe away the human race.  This sounds very harsh, but He did save one family – that of Noah, who “was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his rime, and he walked faithfully with God” Genesis 6 v 9

God conquered the chaos, but wasn’t so harsh to kill everyone – he not only saved Noah and his family but He also saved the animals too – so that His world could be recreated again.

In Exodus, the Egyptian rule over the Israelite's was awful and displeased the Lord.  There was chaos in Egypt so the Lord arranged for the Israelite's to be freed, but in doing this God created chaos himself with all the plague that he had sent.  But the plagues were necessary to loosen Pharaoh’s heart and free the Israelite's from slavery.

When leaving Egypt the Israelite’s faced a challenge – how to cross the red sea? But God parted the sea for them to cross, giving them a safe passage.  But when the Egyptians who are following them attempt to cross God drowns them.  Here He is showing that He is a mighty God.

In the time of both Noah and Moses God conquered chaos in different ways.  He brought life out of death by saying Noah and his family and by freeing the Israelite’s from slavery and oppression.

God brought salvation out of judgement.  He recreated his people from the waters of death.  And it wasn’t just with the Red Sea and the flood that God showed his power, he did it again in Joshua 3 – 4 with the parting of the River Jordan and he will keep saving his people from chaos.

So when in despair about storms in our own lives or in the world – it is best not to despair but to have faith and hope that the chaos which is in force will be conquered by God.

We may not feel like God is working in our situations by God is always working in the background.

God unravels His creation to recreate His people. 

Faith: The Plagues of Egypt

As a child I was taught in Sunday school about the book of Exodus in the Bible, but the teachings were mainly about Moses, the Exodus through the red sea and the ten plagues God sent on Pharaoh and the people of Egypt.

These ten plagues happened in order that Pharaohs hardened heart would soften and his eyes be open to who God really was and listen to God and set the Israelite's free from oppression and slavery.

It’s not that Pharaoh didn’t believe in or worship gods, he did, he believed in the sun gods and the river gods etc. – he just didn’t believe in the God of the Israelite's – the true God.  Pharaoh didn’t take offence at the Israelite's having their own God but he did take offence at the suggestion that the God of Israel might have a claim on him. Pharaoh didn’t want other people’s beliefs imposed upon him.

 By sending the plagues God was declaring that He is the only true and relevant God - “And Moses said, “May it be as you say. You will know that there is no one like the Lord our God” (Exodus 8 v 10).

God through the plagues goes head to head with Pharaoh and the Egyptian gods as it says in Numbers 33 v 4b “the Lord……brought judgement on their gods”

But why the 10 plagues, what do they mean – why did God send the specific plagues he did – well it is because many of the plagues are attacks on specific Egyptian gods.

Plague 1 - turning water into blood (Exodus 7 v 14-24) – this plague was an attack on Hopi, the Egyptian god of fertility. Without the River Nile there was no fertility in Egypt, which effectively meant there would be no Egypt. 

“This is what the LORD says: By this you will know that I am the LORD: With the staff that is in my hand I will strike the water of the Nile, and it will be changed into blood. The fish in the Nile will die, and the river will stink and the Egyptians will not be able to drink its water. (Exodus 7 v 17-18)

Plague 2 – Frogs (Exodus 7 v25 - 8 v 15) – this plague was an attack on Haqt who had the head of a frog and was another fertility god.  By sending this plague God is showing that frogs are his to command and no one else’s.

“This is what the great LORD says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me. If you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs. The Nile will teem with frogs. They will come up into your palace and your bedroom and onto your bed, into the houses of your officials and on your people, and into your ovens and kneading troughs. The frogs will go up on you and your people and all your officials” (Exodus 8:1–4)

Plague 5 – Diseased Livestock (Exodus 9 v 1-9). The bull was another symbol of fertility and all over Egypt there would have been shrine to the Bull. Two of the Bull-gods who would have been worshipped are Apis and Mneivs and none of them could resist the plague on the livestock of Egypt.

“This is what the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me. If you refuse to let them go and continue to hold them back, the hand of the LORD will bring a terrible plague on your livestock in the field—on your horses and donkeys and camels and on your cattle and sheep and goats”  Exodus 9:1–3

Plague 6 – Boils (Exodus 9 v 8-12). The plague of Boils on the Egyptians could not be overturned by Sekhmet who was the lion-headed goddess of plagues

“Then the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Take handfuls of soot from a furnace and have Moses toss it into the air in the presence of Pharaoh. It will become fine dust over the whole land of Egypt, and festering boils will break out on men and animals throughout the land. -  Exodus 9:8–9

Plague 7– Hail (Exodus 9 v 13-35). The plague of Hail could not be over turned by Nut, the goddess of the Sky - not could she stop the wind which brought the plague of locusts (Egypt 10 v 1-20) – Plague 8.

“Therefore, at this time tomorrow I will send the worst hailstorm that has ever fallen on Egypt, from the day it was founded till now. Give an order now to bring your livestock and everything you have in the field to a place of shelter, because the hail will fall on every man and animal that has not been brought in and is still out in the field, and they will die. […] The LORD sent thunder and hail, and lightning flashed down to the ground. So the LORD rained hail on the land of Egypt; hail fell and lightning flashed back and forth. It was the worst storm in all the land of Egypt since it had become a nation” — Exodus 9:13–24

“This is what the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, says: 'How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Let my people go, so that they may worship me. If you refuse to let them go, I will bring locusts into your country tomorrow. They will cover the face of the ground so that it cannot be seen. They will devour what little you have left after the hail, including every tree that is growing in your fields. They will fill your houses and those of all your officials and all the Egyptians—something neither your fathers nor your forefathers have ever seen from the day they settled in this land till now” — Exodus 10:3–6

Plague 9 – Darkness for three days (Exodus 10 v 21-29). This plague was no prevented by Re, the sun god who at nigh descended into the netherworld before rising victorious again with dawn. But during the 9th plague he did not rise. These three days of darkness were a clear sign that Re had been defeated. 

The first nine plagues show that before Israel’s God, who is our God that all other gods are powerless, all pretenders are defeated and all blasphemers are silenced.

TV Review: Eastenders

This may be a controversial post, but I have just been watching EastEnders (Okay I wrote this post a few weeks ago, after an emotional episode) – it was a very powerful episode tonight as Shirley, Linda and Roxy plus their loved ones awaited the outcome of the trail of Dean Wicks and his attempted rape on Roxy.

During the episode they didn’t show the trial, instead they focused on the families and the heartache that rape brings.  The victims Roxy and Linda united together while Dean stood in the dock alone awaiting the news of his future. The victims had each other, and had their families, Dean had no one.

And what was the outcome of the trial? Dean got off  - he was found not guilty, which is not what everyone back in Walford wanted, but it happened, and it happens in real life as well.  People may be outraged and disappointed with the outcome, I knew I was. And the reason why I was annoyed - because Dean committed the crime, he raped Linda and tried to rape Roxy as well.

However the unfortunate thing about this, is that the not guilty verdict reflects reality – people get away with rape a lot of the time.  The justice system is flawed:

• Women are often accused of being liars if they report the crime of rape
• Women are often told they brought the crime on themselves because of the clothes they wore or because they were drinking
• Women are often scared to report the crime of rape as they are scared of the perpetrator and they are also scared of being called liars and not being believed.

A lot of women are not believed, and if the police do believe them and the case goes to court it doesn’t mean the perpetrator will get convicted. Many cases get a not guilty verdict, and even if a guilty verdict is given then the sentence is only six or seven years which isn’t much for a crime that can destroy a person’s life.

I knew that this crime happens not only to women but also to men.  And for men to come forward it must be worse for them than a women. It is a very hard subject to tackle as a soap/TV programme but I think that EastEnders did very well. 

Faith: The Exodus

I have been studying Exodus recently in my quiet times with God – and wow, what a book this is.  It is not just about the parting of the red sea, or of a burning bush or whatever else we learned about the book as kids.

Exodus is a story of economic migrants, who are initially welcomes into Egypt, but as they prosper, people start to resent and fear them and oppressive measures are imposed.  The fear that the Egyptians have of the Israelites is that they will grow and outnumber them and change their way of life.

“Then a new king came into power over Egypt. He did not know Joseph.  He said to his people, “See, the people of Israel are too many and too powerful for us.  Come, let us be wise in how we act towards them, or they will become more in number. If there is a war, they might join with those who hate us. They might fight against us and then leave the land.”   Exodus 1 v 8-10

This makes me think of what is actually happening in our world today. People are fearful of immigrants/migrants coming into their countries – be in America or the United Kingdom – and am sure other countries may be fearful of the same happening with them.

This fear has been the same throughout history – just look at Hitler in his attempt to eradicate Jews from Germany et al.  This was driven by jealously of the Jewish race and fear that they would do better than the Aryan Germans who he believed were the true and rightful residents of the country he loved.  And what came out of this fear and jealousy – oppression.

In June people in the UK voted to leave the European Union and after speaking to people, watching the news etc. it sounds like many who voted to leave did so out of fear – fear to the migrants/ immigrants and refugees coming into the UK and fear that they would steal their homes and jobs. 

However after the decision was made to ‘Brexit’ instead of ‘Remain’ many people are now fearful about what will happened in terms of ‘Brexit’ and how we will survive.  Questions are being raised about many issues throughout the four countries of the UK – Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland and England.  Questions like, will there be physical borders put into place between Northern and Southern Ireland? or will ‘Brexit’ affect trade with different countries? And what will happen to all the European players in the English football premier league, will they have to leave?  So many questions, so many fears.

BUT looking back at Exodus we can take hope – God was with them and He knew what He was doing – He thwarts all of Pharaoh’s plans to eradicate the threat posed by ‘the foreigners in his land’.

“So they put men in power over them to make them work hard. And they built the store-cities Pithom and Raamses for Pharaoh the king.  But the more the Egyptians made them suffer, the more they became until they spread throughout the land. So the Egyptians were afraid of the people of Israel.  The Egyptians made the people of Israel work very hard.  They made their lives bitter with hard work building with stones and with all kinds of work in the field. They made them work very hard.  Then the king of Egypt spoke to the Hebrew nurses. The name of one was Shiphrah. The name of the other was Puah.  He said, “When you are helping the Hebrew women to give birth, and see the baby before the mother does, if it is a son, kill him. But if it is a daughter, let her live.”  But the nurses feared God. They did not do what the king of Egypt told them. They let the boys live.  So the king of Egypt called the nurses and said to them, “Why have you done this, and let the boys live?”  The nurses answered Pharaoh, “Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women. They are strong. They give birth before the nurse comes to them.” So God was good to the nurses. And the people became many and strong. Because the nurses feared God, He gave them families.  Then Pharaoh told all his people, “Throw every son who is born to the Hebrews into the Nile. But keep every daughter alive.”  - Exodus 1 v 11-22

God’s hand is in everything and despite the Israelite's being in Egypt, despite them being oppressed and despite being threatened, God’s people prosper because of the promised God made to Abraham in Genesis chapters 12, 15 & 17 – the promise to bless all nation, by fulfilling all his purpose through the family of Abraham.

And the man whom God had chosen to help the Israelite's leave Egypt and flee the oppression of Pharaoh was called Moses who was a descendant of Abraham:

Abraham’s son Isaac had two sons Esau and Jacob. Jacob had twelves sons (who became the twelve tribes of Israel), one of whom was called Levi (the Levites were the ones who became the priests). Levi had three sons, one of whom was called Kohath who in turn had four sons, one of whom was Amram who was the father to Moses and Aaron. 

So the whole connection is:

Abraham -> Isaac -> Jacob -> Levi -> Kohath -> Amram -> Moses.

Exodus Chapter 2 tells the story of Moses birth to how he became exiled from Egypt by Pharaoh for killing an Egyptian who was beating a Hebrew (despite being brought up Pharaoh’s daughter in the Egypt court, Moses was a Hebrew because he was born to a Hebrew family).

“Now a man of the family of Levi married a daughter of Levi. She was going to have a baby, and she gave birth to a son. When she saw that he was beautiful, she hid him for three months.  But the time came when she could hide him no longer. So she took a basket made from grass, and covered it with tar and put the child in it. And she set it in the grass by the side of the Nile. His sister stayed to watch and find out what would happen to him.

Then the daughter of Pharaoh came to wash herself in the Nile. Her young women walked beside the Nile. She saw the basket in the tall grass and sent the woman who served her to get it. She opened it and saw the child. The boy was crying. She had pity on him and said, “This is one of the Hebrews’ children.”  Then his sister said to Pharaoh’s daughter, “Should I go and call a nurse from the Hebrew women to nurse the child for you?”  Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Go.” So the girl went and called the child’s mother. Then Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Take this child away and nurse him for me. And I will pay you.” So the woman took the child and nursed him.  The child grew, and she brought him to Pharaoh’s daughter. And he became her son. She gave him the name Moses, saying, “Because I took him out of the water.” 

One day after Moses had grown up, he went out to his brothers and saw how hard they worked. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his people, so he looked this way and that way. He did not see anyone, so he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.  The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He said to the man who did the wrong, “Why are you hitting your neighbour?”  But the man said, “Who made you a ruler and a judge among us? Do you plan to kill me like you killed the Egyptian?” Then Moses was afraid. He thought, “For sure the thing I have done is known.”

 When Pharaoh heard what had happened, he tried to kill Moses. But Moses ran away from Pharaoh and stayed in the land of Midian.  (Exodus 2 vs 1-15)

Exodus 3 tells the story of how God appeared to Moses in the burning bush and spoke to him saying

"Now come, and I will send you to Pharaoh so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.” (Exodus 3 v 10)

Through Moses, God was planning to bring the Israelite's out of slavery and oppression, and through this he was fulfilling his promise he made to Abraham.  So in the face of our future, and what may or may not happen, we need to find confidence that however bleak the setting, God is at work in our lives – he has a bigger picture and we only get to see his plans come to fruition in bite size bits. 

The fear, the worries and the oppression is part of Satan’s on-going rebellion against God’s people so that he might defeat God’s promise of setting his people free and delivering them from oppression. But the good thing is that God is never thwarted by Satan because God is Sovereign and this has been proven throughout history.

We need to have confidence and faith in God and trust Him. God has promised to fill the earth with the glory of Christ.  Christ has promised to build His church.  God is still on the throne, and He is the one we should fear and no one else.

Faith: You are Chosen

There are times in my life and I am sure in your lives too that we feel overlook by others:

• We didn’t get the job we interviewed for
• The boy we liked didn’t see us in the same way we liked him
• In school we were last to be picked for football / netball teams
• We didn’t get to be prefect in our final year at school
• We didn’t get accepted to the University of our Choice
• We didn’t get invited to a party that everyone else you knew was going to
• Someone you thought of as a friend declined your Facebook invite

It can be very difficult to be overlooked and feel rejected.  But it happens to everyone at sometimes in our lives.

In the Old Testament David was overlooked by his father Jesse, when Samuel was looking for someone to be the new king, because he was the youngest son, not as strong as his older brothers and he was only a shepherd boy.  However God told Samuel David was the one he had chosen to be King after Saul because he saw something in him that no one else saw  (1 Samuel 16) - God looks at the inside and the state of our hearts whereas man only judges on the outside.  

David was overlooked by others but handpicked by God. And it is the same as us, we may feel overlooked by others but we were hand-picked by God – God chose us, He organised for us to be here on earth.  As John 15 v 16a says “You did not choose me, but I choose you and appointed you”.

So the next time you don’t get the job you really wanted, or someone walks past you and ignores you, or the boy you liked said no – or whatever it is you didn’t get picked / chosen for – remember it doesn’t really matter as you were chosen to be here by God – he organised for you to be here.  You were chosen and you are wanted by God. 

Life: Friendship

Friends are good to have, they make us laugh, and they cry with us, they rejoice with you.   Friends are there for you.  Although friendship is a great gift in life, the road to friendship is not always smooth – relationships are good but they need work, they need to be nurtured.

As a child we have many friends - some of these are real and some are imaginary – but almost everybody is our friends, except maybe for the annoying boy in class who always disrupts everything.  As a child I had friends at school, at church and on my street.  My friendship circles as a child overlapped as some friends I saw in all three places.  I even had a best friend, someone who and known me all her life but I only met her when I was six months old – her name was Helen and she was two months older than me but only met me when I was adopted into my family. Helen went to my church, and my school and she lived across the carriageway from me so most Saturdays were spent at each other’s houses.

Helen is still my friend though I have not seen her for years, but she is the type of friend that If I saw have, it would not be awkward, it would be like we had seen each other every day – the friendship would pick up right where we left it. I like friendships like that.

We didn’t stop being friends, we never fell out, the friendship is still there but due to my Dad’s job I had to leave Belfast and all my friends there and move to Bangor to a new school, a new street (which was more like a road, and had no houses either side of me!) and a new church.  I was 11 and I had to make new friends.

We feel that we need many friends around us, we want everyone to like us, but in reality that cannot happen – as people are people, we are imperfect and personalities clash. As children this isn’t really the case as we all seem to like each other, but as teenagers, wow does this change.

In my teenage years I struggled with making friends, it was hard – not sure why, maybe it was just the person I was, but school was hard – I did have friends but one day you are friends and the next day you are fighting. It was hard.  I had friends at church as well, but also felt I was the intruder as they all grew up together. But there was one friend, her name was Michelle - she was my best friend at school and at church – yes we fought but we were still friends after that.  We are still friends today though we live in different cities – but again if I bumped into Michelle in the street it would pick up where we left off.   I see her on Facebook so still feel I am part of her life, as she will always be in mine.

With Helen and Michelle, the friendship stays even though we have moved on and gone different ways.  That’s what I call true friendship – when you can go for ages without seeing someone but when you do see them you pick up where you left off.

We have friends for life, friends for a season and friends for a reason.

After school I left Northern Ireland and went to England for University – again a new place and having to make new friends again.  I had left my friends at home and it was hard. I made friends at university through the Christian Union, but it was hard for me to make friends in my classes – I spoke to people but friendships were never forged, but I did have good friends to do like with at university – but again after we finished our degrees we all moved away from Sunderland and went our separate ways. But with the aid of Facebook some of us still keep in touch.  These friends I never see but I believe that some were friends for a season while with others if I met up with them now, it would not be awkward – it would feel natural again as we have a common bond.  

We were there for each other at university, when a school friend of mine died suddenly at home, aged 21, my friends rallied around me and supported me through my grief. That is love and friendship.   With those friends I truly believe that it was orchestrated by God that we would meet each other and do University life together.

After University, I left Sunderland and moved to London – during this time I lived in three houses in three different parts of London, I attended two different churches and was employed in five different jobs as well as doing my Masters at university. Again I had to make new friends in a new place – and several times forge new relationships with colleagues etc.

Friendship as an adult is different from those as a child, a teenager and at university – as adults we have different priorities – friendships start but then sometimes instead of growing and flourishing, they stop dead.

Friends are good but sometimes friendships can be bad as you can live in each other’s pockets and suck the life out of each other. I had a friend like this in London and it wasn’t good, it was unhealthy.

As I said before, in my eight years in London I lived in three different houses, and within these houses I managed to do life with sixteen different people who all reigned from seven different countries – England, Singapore, Hungary, Germany, Japan, USA and Slovakia. From them I learned about different cultures. Friendship can educate us.

I had friends in my churches and again these were with people from different countries – England, Northern Ireland, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Hungary, Malaysia, Philippines, Australia, Bolivia, France and Egypt.

I made friends in London that are still friends today even though I left London four years ago and now live back in Northern Ireland. I don’t see these friends often but again when we do the friendship comes alive again and we pick up where we left off.  These friends have moved on as well with some still remaining in London but one has moved to South of England while one is back in Northern Ireland but in a different city than me, so don’t see her very often.

Life moves on as we move on but friendships can continue – I pray for my friends, we email, we Facebook each other, we text each other and talk on the phone.

After eight years in London I decided to go and live for a year in Peru and this year saw me making more friends – more international friends.  Friends I may never see again but friends who made a year away from home special and friends who I will always love and will always be in my heart.

Don’t get me wrong, I love all my friends and they will all be in my heart always, but the Peruvians were there for me when I was away from my family – they were my family in a foreign land – they put up with me not being able to speak their language every well. I laughed with my friends, laughed at them laughing at me and my language blunders and cried with some of them when their father died. 

There is one person who I met in Peru who has a special place in my heart and that is my friend Alejandro who has Down’s syndrome and is one of the best friends I have had even though he was unable to talk to me, but we clicked.

I didn’t just have Peruvian friends in Peru, I made friends with the Cuban pastor and his family as well as making friends with fellow missionary Cecily who was from Scotland. I love having international friends.

When I left Peru after a year there, around 20 people came to the airport to see me go – either they were sad to see me leave or they wanted to make sure I left.  

Moving back to Northern Ireland to a different town from the one I left 13 years previously I was at the point again where I had to remake my life – finding a job, finding a church and making new friends.  As I have said before making friends in adult life in harder than in childhood.

I have been home three years and I have friends – those who kick me in the butt when I need it, who pick me up when I am down, who pray for me, who get me out of pity parties and who are there for me as I am for them. 

We are called in life to live in community, and especially so as a Christian.  We are made to be in relationships and not do life alone – doing life alone is very lonely and hard.  We need to be there for all of our friends, for those we do life with on a regular basis as well as those we may not see all the times and we need to reach out, pray for and me there for our friends when they fall apart.

I once thought I had to have loads of friends but now I realise it is not about how many friends you have, it is about who has got your back and catches you when you fall ad vice versa.

I have friends who come into my house and treat it like it is their own - they make themselves tea, take over the kitchen, move tables, etc etc. This is good as means they feel at home.

I have friends who have seen me in my PJ's and who have seen me cry and in my sickbed. They have seen me at my worst yet they are still around.

That to me is friendship - when you feel comfortable around people and can just go round to their, kick off your shoes, put you feet up or even lie down on the couch and watch TV which some friends have done. Friendship is good.