Thursday 28 April 2016

Writing: Insults - Shakespeare Style!

Today I found another cool writing prompt which was inspired by Shakespearean insults - Shakespeare’s insults, put downs and cussing were second to none, and with his insults Shakespeare was most certainly a master of his trade! Some of his insults were:

·         Shakespeare Insult 1 – The Two Gentlemen of Verona
o   “Thou subtle, perjur’d, false, disloyal man!”
·         Shakespeare Insult 2 – As You Like It
o   “Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous.”
·         Shakespeare Insult 3 – The Tempest
o   “Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.”
·         Shakespeare Insult 4 – Measure For Measure
o   “Thou art a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward.”

Anyway the prompt was to write down 20 of the most scathing insults you can come up with – but I decided to do ones which aren’t too bad and some that were from playground times:

1.       Your face looks like a wet weekend!
2.       I’ve seen decomposed bodies that were prettier than you!
3.       You keep talking and I’ll keep shovelling!
4.       My ma’s your da!
5.       Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
6.       Whatever Minger, McDonald’s Worker!!
7.       You’re dead from the neck up!
8.       Munter
9.       Bite me!
10.   You make a better door than a window!
11.   You may be a pain but your not a pane of glass!
12.   You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity.
13.   I wouldn’t touch you with a barge pole!
14.   Even if you were the last person on earth I wouldn’t go out with you
15.   Pizza face!
16.   Your dad is the milkman!
17.   I don’t care what people say about you, I think you are cool!
18.   I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
19.   It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

20.   You belong in the zoo!

Wednesday 27 April 2016

Flash Fiction: The Trouble with George


I had just come off night shift at the hospice and was on my way home. It was a hard shift and emotionally draining. I was tired and all I wanted to do was go home to my bed and sleep.

However, sleep turned out not to be an option for me, because no sooner had I got in my front door when my doorbell rang. I opened the door and there standing on my doorstep were two very serious looking men in black suits. After the usual greetings of hello etc. they flashed their badges at me and introduced themselves as Agent Morrison and Agent Kane from the FBI.  Why were they looking for me?  I wondered.

They told me they would like to speak to me about a matter involving my brother George, who had apparently got himself tangled in a messy situation.  This news did not surprise me as George was notorious for getting himself into trouble, sleeping with the wrong women, being a drunken lout, smashing places up and dear knows what else.  His temper being the main problem as it usually got the better of him and nine times out of ten landed him in jail.

I hadn’t seen George in over a year and to be honest was not really disappointed about this, because our relationship was ruined the day he pushed me down the stairs in a drunken rage which left me with broken ribs, a broken arm and a very sore back.  I was still recovering from that attack, both emotionally and physically.

The antics of George are widely known in my neighbourhood and I didn’t want them gossiping anymore about him, so instead of having this conversation on the steps for everyone to see, I invited the Agents in to the house.  Once we were inside and sat in the living room, Agent Morrison started to tell me the story of George.

Apparently George had recently been in Colombia, which was news to me, but while he was there he had got involved with a woman who turned out to be the niece of the Colombian President.  Apparently this was not a good move for my brother to make as President Santos was a corrupt leader, not a kind man and didn’t tolerate foreigners very well especially white ones.  I got the impression he was not the type of man you would want to get on the wrong side of. Part of me thought that now George might have met his match this time!

The President’s niece, Lorena was pregnant and was claiming that George was the father. When George found this news out he did a disappearing act. Again this was typical behaviour of George. He never hung around when people needed him.  President Santos was not happy about this and deemed George a coward for running away from his responsibilities.  Yes, he’s summed George up very well there, he was exactly like that. President Santos was very protective of his family and did not take too well to people hurting his family.

The story didn’t stop there. On fleeing Colombia and going back to the United States, he tried to smuggle drugs in his luggage, but he was caught out at the airport by the sniffer dogs who showed a great interest in my brother’s backpack. He was searched for drugs and they found around £1.5million worth of Cocaine hidden in the lining of his bag.

None of this surprised me as like I said he was always getting into trouble.  George was born with the gift of the gab and was usually able to talk his way out of things, but it looked like this time he wouldn’t be able to, or would he?  He was taken to the airport holding cells and was questioned thoroughly about where he got the drugs from and why he was bringing them back to the states etc.

However, George was not very forthcoming with answers, and just said no comment to everything he was asked.  While George was being questioned it came to the attention of the authorities that George was being sought after by President Santos and had put a bounty on George’s head. Santos wanted George dealt with for his behaviour towards his niece and also for taking their precious Cocaine out of his country. Smuggling drugs into another country was illegal and all smugglers who were caught were severely punished.  Not only were the American’s wanting George dealt with, the Colombians did too.

In the middle of Agent Morrison telling me this, Agent Kane’s phone rang, it was their office with news about George. Apparently feeling the pressure, he had eventually broken down in the middle of being questioned, but instead of giving any information voluntary he asked for a deal to be cut.  George never did anything for nothing, he was always used situations to his advantage.

This deal George wanted to make was that in exchange for his freedom he would give them interesting on the President and the Colombian government which he had apparently picked up from Lorena.  The authorities decided to hear George out in order to decide if his information was useful and if it was then the charges against George would be dropped and he would be free.   Well free to a point. The FBI feared for his safety and wanted to put him into protective custody until the situation was sorted.

After listening to the two Agents speak I said, “Thank you for telling me, but there is nothing I can do to help George in this situation. It seems he has got all the help and protection he needs from you lot”
Agent Morrison said, “If Santos captures George he will certainly kill him.  We will protect him as much as we can, but if he is captured and taken back to Colombia, there is nothing much we can to do help him as he will be out of our jurisdiction and Colombia refusals to negotiate with America ever”
“Ok well if he is in your protective custody, I am sure no one will be able to get to him, right?”
“Yes, that is correct, but if Santos can’t get to George himself, he might well go after his family in order to try and lure him out of wherever they think he may be hiding, because they will have no idea he is being protected by the FBI”

At this news I started to crumble.  My life may be in jeopardy because of my good for nothing brother. Would I ever be free of him?  He always had to drag other people into his mess. He was in my opinion a selfish person who needed to grow up.

I remember the time George went to Las Vegas for the stag do of his best friend Nick.  Around fifteen of them were on the trip and it was obvious from the beginning trouble would ensue because they were all a bad influence on each other.

George got into a lot of debt in one of the Casinos, and the manager would not let him leave until his dues were paid, which George was unable to pay because he had gambled all his money away. And the only thing he knew to do in this situations was call home asking our parents to bail him out. He owed £20,000 and wanted them to cover him. When my parents asked what the money was for, he told them he had got himself into a spot of bother.  In my opinion it was more than a spot of bother, it was more like a huge pile of sinking sand!

George never took his antics and the predicaments he landed himself in seriously and never took responsibility for his actions.

My parents were retired and didn’t have that sort of money but they loved George and desperately wanted to try and help him because they didn’t want to see him injured or worse, dead. They didn’t know what to do or where to get the money from. They got themselves into a huge panic at what might happen to their precious son.  George was very selfish for putting his parents, and me through his mess especially my Dad. Two years previous Dad had suffered a bad heart attack which led to a quadruple bypass and months of recovery and I was scared that more stress would lead to more heart problems.

My parents tried to borrow money from the bank but were refused a loan due to their age. They were in their seventies, and banks don’t lend money to people over seventy because they are probably afraid they would die and then the money would never be paid back to the bank!  In desperation they turned to me for help but even though he was my brother, I was reluctant to help him.

George frustrated the life out of me with this stupid selfish behaviour and I wanted to make him suffer the way he made out family suffer. However, I hated seeing the pain on my parent’s faces and watching my mum cry. I respected my parents request and took out a loan so that George could pay off his debts and climb back out of the hole he had dug himself into.

This incident happened six years ago and my husband and I were still paying off the loan by working all the hours God send us and depriving ourselves of any foreign holidays which was hard for us as we liked getting away to the sun and exploring new countries. So while George travels the world, I get to stay at home and earn money to pay his debt off.  It probably won’t surprise you to know that George never offered to repay us and I am sure I will never get the money back. George never take’s people’s feelings or situation into consideration.

However, back to the matter at hand, the Colombian President has put a bounty on my brother’s head. I was unsure of the amount as the Agents were reluctant to tell me for some reason, not sure why. I was thinking about my parents and what they would say about this if they were still alive. Although I missed them very much, I was glad they were not here right now as it would probably have killed them.  Again it falls to me and my family to pick up after George.

“What’s the plan? If I am a target, what do I do?  What do you do to protect us, I assume the FBI will protect us.  I don’t want any harm coming to my husband, my children and my grand-children. And we also need to take into consideration, the safety of George’s kids?  He has two boys, Paul aged fifteen, Sam aged eighteen and Chrissie who is twenty. They all have different mothers but do keep in regular contact with each other. When it comes to seeing their father, well they see him as much as I do – hardly ever. He only gets in touch when he needs something”
“Yes Debbie, we will be protecting all of you. Santos has men in America and he may very well use them to come after you all and use you as bargaining tools.  We will make sure there are agents placed outside their work places and home. Do you know where everyone would be right now?”
 “Yes. Bill, my husband will be at his place of work, Goldman Sachs. Joanie, my oldest will be at home with her two kids while Max her husband works with Bill in the same office. Elaine, my youngest will be at work in Bloomingdales and her husband Matthew broke his leg recently so he will be at home probably catching up on all his TV Shows he is addicted too”
“Thank you that is very useful information. And George’s kids, where would we find them?”
 “I am not sure where they would be right at his moment, but can tell you the area in which they could be found in.  Chrissie attends New York Fashion School so she is probably there, at home or out shopping!  As for the boys, Sam, lives in Long Beach, California with his mother. He practically lives at the beach, so you will probably find them there or out on the water. He is a surfer and trying to go to professional. Paul lives right here in New York and will probably be at school”
“Thanks, again we will put some stations on them to protect them.  However now we must go, but we will be in direct contact with you and here is our number, you can call us anytime you need.  We have two agents stationed outside your house now watching in case anything happens, so someone will never be far away in case trouble strikes. We need to go to the office, but we will be back in a few hours. Thank you for being cooperative with us, and sorry to have brought this upon you”
“It’s not your fault George is such a screw-up, but thank you for coming to inform me and for protecting us all”

The Agents left the house about two hours after they arrived. I was very very tired due to having worked a twelve hour night shift and not slept for hours.  Even though I was worried about everything I had just told I decided the best thing for me was to go to bed and try to sleep. The FBI were on the case so there was nothing I could do except for sit and wait. Bill would be home soon, which would be a great comfort to me.

I had just managed to get to sleep when I heard someone banging on my door, because I was half asleep I was not sure what was going on. Didn’t know if it was reality or a dream. I crawled further under the covers of the bed hoping that the noises would soon stop. But, unfortunately that didn’t happen, the banging got louder and then all of a sudden by door was being kicked in. Who were these people trespassing on my property?

I heard voices and could make out they were speaking Spanish.  I immediately sat up bolt right in my bed petrified that these men belonged to Santos. I grabbed my phone and called Agent Morrison filling him in on what had just happened. He told me to stay where I was, to remain calm and they would be back at the house straight away. If it was Santos’s men, Morrison didn’t know how they had found me or why the Agents posted outside were not trying to diffuse the situation.

I was so relieved to know they were coming straight away to help me. But that relief didn’t last long because as soon I finished the phone call, I heard yelling and banging coming from downstairs. The men were obviously looking to see if there was anyone in the news. They were making their presence known. 

In the midst of all the noise, there was one that troubled me and that was the sound of a girl crying. This frightened me and I was scared in case they had got hold of one of my girls and were using her as a pawn in this game George created.  I felt so useless and was praying so hard that Agents Morrison and Kane would turn up soon.

I stayed rigid in my bed, too scared to move, all the time listening to what was going on downstairs and thinking it would be a matter of time because they came upstairs and found me in my room. The two men were still shouting at each other, I could hear them more clearly now but could not make out what they were saying as I did not know any Spanish except for Hola and Gracias! I could make out that one of the men definitely had a Spanish accent but the other one was speaking with a definite American undertone, which made no sense to me.

I called Agent Morrison again and demanded to know where they were as it had turned into quite a situation in my house. I had just put my phone down when the door of my bedroom flew open and two men entered.  One of the men was pointing a gun at me, while the other one had one hand around the girl’s neck and then in the other hand he had a gun which he was pointing at the girl’s head.

It wasn’t just any girl, it was George’s daughter Chrissie. They had somehow gotten to her and here she was standing in my bedroom crying her eyes out with a gun being held to her head. How could George get his own flesh and blood into these situations? 

The whole situation made me fearful, but I was more scared for Chrissie than I was for myself.  She was young and had her whole life ahead of her, whereas I had a few years on her and had lived a good life. George had royally screwed up this time.  

The man who entered the room first seemed to be the leader of the two. He yelled at me to get up out of my bed.  But not matter how hard I tried to move, I couldn’t. I was frozen to the spot. I noticed that the main man was definitely from Colombia whereas the other man was an American. And he wasn’t just any American, he was a Federal Agent.  

What was going on here, why was this Federal Agent holding a gun to my niece’s head?! And where were Agent Morrison and Agent Kane?  I was wondering if I could still trust them or were they corrupt as well, like the agent currently standing in my room seemed to be.  He presumably was one of the agents who were meant to be outside protecting me from the threat of Santos’ men.  

I had decided right there that if Santos doesn’t get to George first, then I was definitely going to kill him with my bare hands for what he has put the whole family through. He is such selfish person.  

The Colombian rushed towards me, grabbing my hand and dragged me out of my bed. He tied my arms behind my back and threw me to the ground.  All the time he was yelling at me demanding to know where George was. Despite me saying that I had no idea where he was and that I had not seen my brother for over a year but he did not seem to believe me.  Mr Corrupt FBI accused me of lying and that I did know where George was.  I kept saying over and over again I didn’t know and even if I did I wouldn’t tell them.  In retrospect I probably shouldn’t have said that last bit because I received a kick in the face.  Blood was now pouring down my face and I was convinced that my nose was broken.

After that the Colombian decided he had, had enough and headed down the stairs leaving Chrissie and myself alone with Mr Corrupt FBI who was pointing his gun at both of us now.  Chrissie was still crying, she was in such a state, my heart went out to her. George certainly will never win an award for being father for the year, but this is the first time that his children have been involved in the chaos he creates.  Looking at Chrissie made me think of Sam and Paul hoping and praying that they were safe.

Mr Corrupt FBI was yelled at by the Colombian to come downstairs.  I heard more footsteps on the stairs and then my bedroom door flew open once again.  Thankfully this time it was Agent Morrison. All I could think was please do not let him be corrupt either.  He untied the bindings that were on our wrists and told us to stay sitting on the ground until either Agent Kane or himself came back to get us.   

I threw my arms around Chrissie and told her how much I loved her and wanted to protect her from her dad. She apologised to me for all this, but I had no idea why she was apologising to me, because none of this was her fault. You can’t choose your family and if you could I certainly wouldn’t have chosen George as a brother and I am sure she wishes at this precise moment he wasn’t her father.

We could hear a lot of yelling, banging and crashing coming from downstairs. We could also hear gun shots. All I could think was, my poor house, the market value would be low if I ever go to sell! My thoughts soon came back again to the real world with the sound of Chrissie’s voice asking me what was going on. It hadn’t occurred to until that moment that Chrissie probably didn’t know why she was involved in this mess.

 “Your Dad has gone and got himself into trouble yet again and people are after him”
“If they are after him, then why are we being targeted?”
“Because the men who are after him can’t find him as he has been put into protective custody by the FBI. And by targeting us, his family they are trying to lure him out, to see if we know where he is”
 “It’s not fair, this is Dad’s mess not ours”
“I know Chrissie, and I am sorry that you have been dragged into this mess. How did they find you?”
Chrissie told me the story of how she ended up sitting beside me in tears.  She had just come out of a lecture when two men grabbed her, forced her out of the university building and into a waiting van where she was tied up.  Despite her asking what was going on, no one told her anything. She said “one minute I was in the van, and the next moment I was being dragged into your house with a gun to my head”
After she had finished I said, “I am so sorry Chrissie about all this”
“It’s not your fault, I’m sorry”
“Who are we kidding, none of us are to blame, it’s that idiot brother of mine. I know he’s your Dad and I am sorry but I can’t have my family being turned upside down because of him, they are precious to me as you are”
“I agree, at this moment I never want to see him again”

I felt so sorry for Chrissie. I just held her close to me, to try and make her feel safe and secure, just like I did when she was younger and scared of thunder and lightning.  We sat together for what seemed like ages with the tears streaming down our faces, when in arrived Agent Kane.  I was glad to see him but I was also angry and yelled at him demanding to know what was going on and how they managed to let my niece be captured. 

“I thought you were meant to protect me and my family”
“Debbie, I am so sorry, we did not know this was going to happen”
“What about the FBI agents who were meant to be outside watching my house?  The one who is in my house now, he’s corrupt isn’t he? Is he involved in Santos’s crowd? And where is the other Agent from my supposed protection detail?”
“Yes we had two agents outside who were meant to be protecting you, Agents Walker and Carter. It seems that Agent Walker has been turned corrupt, but we did not know about that. As for the other agent, unfortunately he is dead after being strangled by Agent Walker. The reason they found you so fast was because Agent Walker passed on all the information he knew including where you were. The one thing he doesn’t know is where George is, only four Agents know that information, the two who are with George and myself and Agent Kane.  I am so sorry about what has happened today, I really am”
“What about Paul and Sam? And my family?”
“Your family are safe, we have Agents with them at the moment, taking them all back to their homes. Your husband will be with you very soon. Sam and Paul are fine and have agents with them protecting them too”

Agent Kane was so sincere in his apology that I knew he was trustworthy and not corrupt.  This was good news as we needed allies at this moment.
“Come on, let’s get you both out of here”  

He helped myself and Chrissie get up from the floor and we were just about to leave the bedroom when all of a sudden the door flew open again hitting Agent Kane square in the nose, making blood sputter everywhere.   It was Agent Walker, or as I liked to call him Mr Corrupt FBI.   He came in pointing his gun at all three of us, and then grabbed Chrissie.  I shouted at him to leave her alone. He shot at me but missed because I jumped out of the way.  I think that was his way of telling me to shut up, so I did, thinking it may be the best thing to do!

Agent Kane was back on his feet and made a play for Walker in order to try and rescue Chrissie but he was shot in the kneecap by Walker which made him fall to the floor with a mighty thud. Oh my, could this day get any worse, I thought.

Walker told me I had to cooperate with him otherwise he would kill Chrissie. After seeing him fire his gun at me and at Agent Kane, I knew he was serious, so I told him I would do anything he asked me to do as long as he didn’t harm my niece.

He pushed Chrissie in front of him holding the gun to her head and told me to follow him. Agent Kane was still on the floor with blood pouring from his nose and his gunshot wound.  He looked at me and pointed at the floor were his gun was, mouthing to me to take it.  I hesitated in taking he gun as I was scared because I had never used a gun before and didn’t think I had it in me to kill anyone.  Agent Kane was insisting I took it, so making sure Walker couldn’t see me, I bent down and took the gun hiding it behind my back.

Walker was yelling at us to get down the stairs.  Chrissie had no choice but to obey him since he was holding a gun to her head. I duly followed them, all the time wondering where Agent Morrison was.
As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Walker threw Chrissie to the ground and told her to stay there and not move. He then turned to me and told me to keep cooperating with him or else it wouldn’t be just Chrissie that would suffer, he would harm my whole family.

“Why don’t you just kill me and leave my family alone?”
“Because I need you to get to George, I need him so I can get the bounty money”
“Oh so this is what it’s all about, you are just after the money”
“Yes, what else would it be about?”
“Well you were working with one of Santos’s men earlier, where did he disappear too?”
“Unfortunately he had a nasty incident with a kitchen carving knife”
“And Morrison, where is he?”

As soon as I mentioned his name, Morrison appeared in the door of the living room, his crisp white shirt now turning a crimson red. He was clutching his stomach.  It was obvious he had got on the wrong side of a knife as well.

I was so glad to see Morrison because now Chrissie and I had another ally.  I ran over to him to try and help him up but Walker shoved me out of the way, warning me to behave otherwise Chrissie would die. I dutifully stepped back and did as I was told.

Walker made a play for Morrison and started to kick him in the head.  I decided I wasn’t having any of this, so I took the gun from behind my back and shot Walker in the back of the head. He fell to his knees and ended up slumped on the ground.  He was dead. I had caught him unaware and now we were free of that snake Walker.  Chrissie looked at me, she was stunned and still crying. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her assuring her that everything would be ok.

While all this was happening, Agent Morrison had managed to pull himself up onto his feet and was standing beside us. I turned to him and he was smiling at me and said,

 “Well, Debbie that was unexpected. Thank you though for saving me.  Much appreciated”
“No worries, both you and Agent Kane risked your lives for us and all because of my lousy brother”
“It’s part of the job, our duty”
“We need to get both you and Agent Kane to the hospital, and we need to get Chrissie looked at as well, she is in shock”
“What about you, think you need to be looked at as well with the knocks you have taken as well”

I agreed with Agent Morrison. I told him to call for an ambulance and then went upstairs to my bedroom to get Agent Kane. He was in awful shape, but I managed to get him onto his feet and bring him downstairs and made him lie down on the sofa till the ambulance came to get us. 

After a ten minute wait, an ambulance pulled up outside the house to take all of us to hospital. The paramedics had just put Agent Kane into the ambulance and were helping Agent Morrison in when his phone rang. It was the bureau updating him on the situation with Santos and wanting to know what was going on at our end.

Agent Morrison told his Chief about Agent Walker and all the events that had taken place over the past few hours. In turn he was told that all the charges against George had been dropped. It turns out that the information he gave to the FBI in regards to President Santos was very valuable information. George had given them the name of the top leaders in Fuerzas Armadas Revoluciones de Colombia (FARC), the terrorist group in Colombia.  And it turns out that one of the top leaders in FARC was Santos. Now that the FBI have this information they were going to start the process of arresting the leaders and try and bring down the Colombian government.  

With the charges against George being dropped, he was now a freeman but was still going to be in protective custody.  It had been decided that after Agent Walker turning out to be corrupt, our families would be better off in a safe house, so one had been arranged for us to go to.

George had been told that his family was under threat and were being taken to the safe house.  George asked if he could go to the safe house with us.  I was not sure how I felt about this but thought it maybe would be a good idea for him to come join us and see what he had put Chrissie and myself through.

We arrived at the hospital and Agent Morrison and Agent Kane had been taken into surgery while Chrissie and I were taken to triage to see to our wounds. I had a broken nose and a few bruises while Chrissie had not been physically hurt, she was in complete shock, and was being treated for that. It was very understandable given what she had been going through.

I was sitting in the cubicle waiting for the nurse to come back and patch me up when in walked Bill. I was so pleased to see him and even more so when he came over and took me in his arms. I just cried and cried with him. It had been such an emotional day and with not having had much sleep the tears came so easily.

Bill had been filled in on the story about George, but he wanted to know from my side what had happened in the house, he wanted to know how I was coping with it all. I told him all about what Chrissie and I had been through and how traumatic it was. I told him about George and what he had been involved in and how he wanted to come to the safe house to be with us.  Like me, Bill wasn’t sure this was a good idea and didn’t want to see me being put under more stress and pressure from my brother.

As I was so tired, Bill told me I should get some sleep since I was so tired. I agreed and asked him to go and be with Chrissie. He told me the rest of the family were safe and would be there when I woke up.

Bill left and I drifted into a blissful sleep and dreamt about my childhood and growing up with George. I dreamt about the good times we had as a family.  During the dream I realised that even though he was trouble, I still loved my brother.

When I woke up, I was surprised to find George standing beside my bed holding my hand. He said he was sorry for everything that he had out me and our family through over the years.  He told me how much he loved me and never wished to put me in danger. He said after this time he vowed to change his ways and become a better brother to me and a better father to his kids.

After hearing him out and seeing the sorrow in his eyes I told him I loved him and I forgave him, maybe not completely but I was getting there. He asked if we could start again. I said yes but it would be a slow process and would have a few underlining conditions, such as replaying me all the money he owed me from the past. He also had to go to rehab for his drink and drug problem and make sure this kind of behaviour needs to stop. I told him at forty five it was time he grew up.  He agreed and promised me he would make amends and make sure he kept on the straight and narrow from now on.
After our heartfelt moment together, George informed me that I had been asleep for two days. I must have been tired, but it’s no surprise as I was emotional drained from the recent events.  I inquired after Agent Morrison and Agent Kane, and he told me they were doing well. They both had to have surgeries and were recuperating at the moment.  I was pleased to hear they were doing well.

I enquired after Chrissie. George said she was doing ok, still a bit jittery and very angry at him. I asked him was he really surprised at that and he said no. However, despite being angry at her father, they had been able to have a good talk, or more of an argument about George and the recent events. George apologised to her for not being a proper father to her.  He asked if he could start again to which she said yes, but on one condition, he grew up and stopped getting himself into trouble and involving his family in them. George had agreed to this.

It seemed that there were a lot of conditions being piled upon George, and a lot of pressure on him to actually adhere to what his family were saying to him. Chrissie and I had given him a second chance, or in my case it was probably a seventh chance. But we told him if he messed up again, there would be no other chances. He needed to know that he could not just walk back into our lives with ease.  He agreed. I was very surprised at the way George was behaving and how he genuinely looked as if he wanted to change and try to be a better person.  Time will tell how long this will last for.

As for the bounty on George’s head, well it had been dropped because now Santos was under investigation for his involvement with FARC and was officially suspended from office until the investigation was over.  The search for all the other leaders had begun as it seems they had all gone into hiding.

While I was in hospital Bill had been staying with our daughter Elaine while our house was being redecorated and fixed up ready for us to move back into, this had now been completed and everything was ready for us to move back in, for which I was glad as I hated hospitals and couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Bill and I talked about letting George move in with us. We were both unsure of having him there, but then thought it might be good for George. We told him he could move in with us to give him a place to go, but he was under no illusions that if he messed up again he would be out on his ear.  When they were redecorating the house, Bill had apparently requested that some of the bullet holes remained so that every time George saw them he could be reminded of what he had put his sister and daughter through. This made me smile as it was typical of Bill and a good idea as well.

After four days in the hospital, I was finally discharged and went back to my house with George and Bill. It was a weird and difficulty experience walking back into the house after what had happened there. My brain went into overdrive and started to reply everything that had happened that day.  I started to panic, but Bill took me into his arms and told me not to worry that I was safe now and no harm could come to me.


George apologised again to me and thanked us for giving him the chance to prove himself and get back on track.  It seemed that George had turned a new leaf and he promised there would be no more trouble with George! 

Writing: 20 uses for Marshmallows

I was looking on Twitter for writing prompts when I came across the following: “Today's writing prompt: 20 uses for a marshmallow, which don't involve eating it”. I thought this was quite cool and decided to accept the challenge. So here goes, my 20 ideas for uses for marshmallows:

  1. Play Fluffy Bunnies (unsure what this is, definition is found below list
  2. Use them as an eraser!
  3. Get rid of spots, boils or abscesses ( the high sugar content of marshmallows attract pus cells and bacteria but only effective if there is a head on said boil, spot or abscess!)
  4. Manicure or Pedicure aid (instead of cotton wool balls, use marshmallows to separate fingers or toes!)
  5. Sugar Softener (Marshmallows act like a desiccant, and absorb excess moisture that cause sugar granules to clump together)
  6. Use them as earplugs!
  7. Use marshmallows to stop ice cream dips (put them in the bottom of the cone before you add the ice cream!)
  8. Use marshmallows to anchor birthday cake candles (to keep the candle wax off the frosting)
  9. Use as ammunition for a sling shot
  10. Instead of a make-up sponge use a marshmallow (pink ones may be best for this!)
  11. Apply your lotions and creams with a marshmallow instead of using cotton wool!
  12. When on a walk throw them on the ground instead of breadcrumbs so you can find your way home again!
  13. Put numbers on a marshmallow and use as a dice
  14. Use as bait when fishing
  15. Use them as nose plugs
  16. Make a mini Michelin man!
  17. Instead of a paintbrush, use a marshmallow for painting pictures
  18. Use as edible glue (melt them down and use as glue if making gingerbread houses etc)
  19. Make a marshmallow launcher and use the marshmallows as ammunition
  20. Use as building blocks and build towers


What is Fluffy Bunnies?

Fluffy bunnies is a game, which is usually played at teenage parties, but anyone can play. The idea is to see how many marshmallows a person can fit in his or her mouth.

If just shoving marshmallows into one's mouth isn't bad enough, another idea behind fluffy bunnies is that each time a player puts a marshmallow into their mouth, they have to say 'fluffy bunnies' with a reasonable amount of clarity.

Chewing the marshmallows is against the rules. Players must fit as many un-chewed marshmallows into their mouths as they can, and still be able to say 'fluffy bunnies'. Players may squash the marshmallows, but once players chew, they're out.

The real fun part of the game is when a player fails to say 'fluffy bunnies', and is consequently out of the game, at this point they need to dispose of the marshmallows.


Just a word of warning to those that are watching, stand clear of someone who is going to unload their 'fluffy bunnies'. It is not a pretty sight.

Sunday 24 April 2016

Faith: Body of Christ

We are a body of Christ and all formed for God’s family

1 Corinthians 12 v 12-37

 “Now you are a body of Christ and each one of you is a part of it” (1 Corinthians 12 v 27)

In this body we are called to:

Encourage
  •  All of us are more consistent in our faith when others walk with us and encourage us.
  •   “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5 v 11)

 Love
  •  We need to show people the kind of love God shows us everyday
  •   “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (1 John 3 v 16)


To journey together
  •  We need to do life together, not alone. Jesus wasn’t alone, he had his disciples with him.
  • The journey we are on is Jesus’ journey and whether or not we are fully aware of it, was are walking it with our brothers and sister in the church.

Be a Support
  • To make life the way God intended it to, we must learn how to lean on other, yet know how to lend them our support
  • And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10 v 24-25)

To be in fellowship
  • The fellowship of the church is more important than any individual
  •  Unity is important, it is the soul of fellowship
  • TRINITY – God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit – Unified as one
  •  “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4 v 3)

To grow
  •  Your local fellowship is the place of God, designed for you to discover, develop and use your gifts

To Evangelise & Disciple
  • Tell the good news. We need to communicate our faith in Jesus clearly and relevantly from the Bible.
  • Helping people in their Christian walk – to grow in faith, use their gifts to serve God, to stand firm and to live for Christ.
  •  “As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27 v 17)

To Reach Out & Serve others
  •  As members of Christ’s body we are his hands, his feet, his eyes and his hearts.  He works through us in the world.
  • We bring God glory by serving others with our gifts

Be a community
  • Be there for others in the church in times of happiness – new child, new job, marriage and in sadness – illnesses, loss of jobs & loss of loved ones.
  • Working together
  • “The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed, those who help others are helped” “Proverbs 11 v 25)

To pray for each other
  • Pray for your friends, your family, your colleagues, our church & the wider church, your community & the wider community, our local government & the wider government, our country & the wider world, our missionaries, the persecuted church.
  •  But don’t just pray, also praise and thank God. Thank him for the day, thank him for your food, and thank him for everything.
  •  “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people” (1 Timothy 2 vs 1)

Monday 18 April 2016

TV Review: Daredevil

I am loving the new revamped Netflix series of Marvel Comics.  I watched Jessica Jones which we brilliant and had a stellar performance from David Tennant.  He was excellent.

When I was finished with Jessica Jones I looked on Netflix to see what other Marvel TV series there on it and I found Daredevil – at the minute these two are the only Marvel shows available on Netflix UK but I think more are coming.

When I started watching Daredevil I did not know much about the character or the Daredevil storyline.  I have never watched the Ben Afleck Daredevil movie and have never read the comics. I did know Daredevil was a vigilante   - a hero who fights to overcome evil.

Now I have watched Seasons one and two and am looking forward to season three coming on as have enjoyed the series so far.

The first season sets the scene for Daredevil, introducing us to him in his civilian life as Matt Murdock – a blind lawyer.  We are taken back to Matt’s childhood and are shown how he got to be where is today.  We are shown his progress into becoming the devil of Hell’s Kitchen and being a crime fighter.

We are introduced to the other main characters of the show – Foggy Nelson who is Matt’s best friend and partner in the law firm and Karen Page who becomes the secretary for the law firm.  We are also introduced to Wilson Fisk who is the bad guy,

Nelson and Murdock, the law firm by Matt and Foggy is a start-up law firm and was set up by the two of them in order to work for and help people who are vulnerable and can’t afford expensive lawyers.  They end up representing clients who live in flats belonging to Wilson Fisk – and their main aim becomes to bring him down.

So by day Matt Murdock is fighting crime legally with his best friend and by night as ‘the devil of Hell’s Kitchen; he is fighting crime by himself with his fists.  You may wonder just how a blind guy fights. Well his other senses – hearing, smell etc. are heightened and enhanced so that helps – he listens for people’s heartbeats which tell him if they are close to them and exactly what they are feeling.

I don’t really want to go into much more details as I hate reading reviews which give away spoilers. The first season is interesting and is great for scene setting and showing us who the bad guys and the good guys are.

Season two is setting more scene and introduces more characters like Frank Castle aka The Punisher and Elektra too. It felt a bit like the producers were using this show to showcase other future Marvel Comic TV Series and their front runners as there are rumours of a series coming out around The Punisher.

Most people in Daredevil are good characters but there is one person who is very annoying and that is Karen Page, the secretary for Nelson and Murdock. To me Karen is very wet, very annoying and I really feel that there isn’t much need for her in the series. It feels all a bit unrealistic to me, especially when she leaves her job at the law firm and becomes an investigative journalist? How?

Also, why is she so interested in saving Frank Castle? And the relationship between her and Matt, what was going on there? Seriously Marvel/Netflix is she really necessary on this TV show.

There is one thing which confuses me and that is the reference to Black Sky – it is repeated again and again by Stick and the Chinese but no one really says what it is. I want it to be explained properly but I suppose that may be done in Season 3…. These show creators like to keep us waiting,


For a comic series, Daredevil is good but it does not have the same finesse or excitement about it as Jessica Jones did.  They both cross over a little bit and with the Punisher an Elektra being in Daredevil and Luke Cage in Jessica Jones I think there may be a series coming along with all the marvel characters in it – a bit like the Avengers Assemble movie. 

Movie Review: The War Room

Recently I had the pleasure of watching a movie called the ‘War Room’.  This movie never came out to the cinema in Northern Ireland, or any part of the United Kingdom to be exact! However it was on general release in 2015 in the United States and actually did surprisingly well for a Christian movie!

The ‘War Room’ is a Christian film and was directed by Alex Kendrick, a Christian film director but not a well-known one.

What is the movie about?  Well from the title you would think it was about war, but it’s not, or is it? Technically it is about war, but not military warfare, but spiritual warfare.  And the main focus of the move is on prayer.  

Alex Kendrick, the director said that the reason why the movie was called “The War Room was because like the military, we should seek God for the right strategy before going into combat.  And by combat I mean daily issues we face in our culture”

Each day as we get out of bed we face battle issues we don’t want to – work, family, health including many more.  And as a Christian it is important for me to start the day praying in order to help me face the day.  I surrender all my worries to God before stepping out the door.  And sometimes or most of the time I have taken these back by morning tea break!!

The ‘War Room’ focuses on one couple, Tony and Elizabeth Jordan and their daughter.  They live in a big house and have plenty of money.  They both have great jobs - Tony is a pharmaceutical salesman and Elizabeth is an estate agent.  But they are unhappy people.  Tony is verbally abusive towards his wife and is edging towards cheating on her too. He is away a lot on sales trips so there is a lot of opportunities for him to cheat!

While working Elizabeth meets an old woman called Miss Clara, who is a dedicated prayer warrior and has turned her bedroom closet into a prayer room – her ‘war room’.  Because in order to stand up and fight the energy you need to get on your knees and pray’.

My favourite scene is when Miss Clara asks Elizabeth if she prays to which the answer is ‘yes sometimes’ and ‘do you go to church?’ to which the reply is ‘yes, sometimes’ and ‘how would you describe your faith?’ to which the reply is ‘Lukewarm’.  

During this conversation Miss Clara is making them both a cup of coffee and presents Elizabeth with a lukewarm cup of coffee while Miss Clara’s is hot.  On drinking her cup of coffee Elizabeth chokes an says “Miss Clara do you like to drink your coffee lukewarm?’ and Miss Clara laughs and says, “no I like mine hot, like my faith”

Basically Miss Clara is saying that your faith, church attendance and prayer life cannot be lukewarm, it has to be all or nothing for God.  You have to be fully dedicated in your relationship with God.

Elizabeth takes Miss Clara’s advice on board and starts to pray for Tony – she even empties her closest and turns it into a prayer ‘war room’.  From spending time with God in prayer Elizabeth starts to change.  She becomes more relaxed and more trusting in God and her prayers for Tony start to work. 

There is another scene in which Tony while away on a business trip is on a date with another woman. Elizabeth find out about this date via a text from a friend who has witnessed this date.  Elizabeth is heartbroken but she starts to pray for the Lord to intervene. And He does because just as Tony is about to leave the restaurant to go back to his date’s house, he suddenly gets sick and starts to vomit so he has to leave his date at the restaurant and go back to his hotel room alone.  So Elizabeth’s prayers are answered and Tony is saved from cheating.

From this you can see that prayers do work, no matter how small or how big, our prayers are answered. God may not answer them the way we want but he does answer – either with a Yes, No or Wait.  We are important to God and he looks out of us, so if He makes us wait there is a reason and if he says No it’s because there is something better out there for us.


I won’t go and spoil the movie for you any more by telling you the needing, but all I will say is that it is a must see movie and a thought provoking one as well.  Now, I must go and clean out my closest!

Wednesday 6 April 2016

Flash Fiction: There is Hope

 It was a difficult period of her life, Sally thought she was at breaking point, not knowing whether she was coming or going. Her mind and thoughts were all at sea and her body was aching with the pain. The emotional, mental and physical pain.  She just wanted it all to disappear.

It had been a rough couple of years with many changes – moving countries, looking for job, losing friends, trying to make new friends and health issues which were all taking their toll on Sally’s emotion – she cried most of time, was irritable with people, wasn’t content on being on her own, but also needed to be on her own. She just felt that anything that could go wrong has gone wrong – there was nothing more she could do. Someone or something was out to get her!

However, in the more sane times Sally was able to realise that not everything in her was bad, it wasn’t all going backwards or falling apart.  There were good elements to her life, people who loved her and places she could go where she felt safe and loved.  The sad thing was that these moments were few and far between and when the black dog of depression came visiting she couldn’t think straight and a bottle of Jack Daniels and a box of full strength painkillers looked like an appealing way out of this downward spiral she was in.

The only questions left was would she do it? Would she take the pills? Would she drink the whisky? Was it really the best way out? Was she strong enough to say goodbye to the world that way? Was it selfish taking her own life and leaving friends and family behind? Would she get into heaven? Ok so that is more than one question – but all Sally knew was that her head was buzzing all the time, she could not think straight and this seemed like the answer. It would solve all her problems. Her way out.

Late one Saturday night Sally sat on her sofa in the living room, staring at the painkiller and the bottle of Jack Daniels which were sitting on the kitchen table in front of her.  The room was silent and the room was dark. It was just Sally and her thoughts. 

The silence was freaking Sally out a little bit so she decided to turn the radio one, as she felt it would drown out the noise in her head. Noise she could not make sense of. 

The radio was tuned into the local radio station and the news had just come in.  Sally was half listening to what was being said, but then she sat up straight, paying full attention to the words being spoken by the news reader.  What was she hearing? Was it correct?   The news reader was saying that a local policeman who had been charged with crimes against women had been found hanging in his prison cell.

Sally could not believe what she was hearing. Was it true? Was he really dead? Did he finally feel guilt for what he had done to her, for what he had done too other women?

What did this mean for Sally now? Well, she thought, I no longer have to be afraid of him being released and coming after me for testifying against him in court.  Would this news mean that she could move on from what had happened to her? Could she finally begin to live after all those years of hiding behind the mask of a victim? Would life get brighter?

First of all Sally had to know whether the news was true, but it was too late to ring anyone and confirm, but she needed to know, because if it was true then her plans for that evening may change dramatically.  She rang the police liaison officer that had been assigned to her during the court case. 

Sally dialled the number on her mobile phone and the call connected. When Penny picked up the phone, all Sally could here from the other side, was “Yes, it’s true. I was just about to ring you.  It’s true. Drew is gone”
Drew. Sally could never bring herself to say his name, or even think his name.  Yes, she had thought about him many times, more than she ever cared to remember.  For months, every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was his face.  But she could never say his name out loud.   If she could keep his name from escaping her mouth then it felt less real than it really was – yes she had the dreams, memories and thoughts but these were closed inside her head – no one else had access to him. As long as he was kept inside her head, she felt like she was more in control.

Now that she had heard his name being said, everything came rushing back to her.  The smell of the room, the smell of him, the colour of his shirt, the sound of the hand cuffs clicking, the deafening silence, the rushed breathing sounds, the rip of clothing, the whispers of his words in her ear goading her, the coldness of the steal toe cap on his boots against her skin and she could clearly see the mark on the floor which she had fixed her eyes on during the ordeal. 

For the following days, weeks, months and even years Sally felt that she could not go on with life anymore. Nothing tasted the same, nothing smelt the same, and she had lost trust in people.  On the days that she could get out of bed, she went to work, but could barely focus on what she was doing, she was an emotional mess.

On the day all this took place, Sally was in despair, there was nothing she could do, and she was trapped. The only thing she could do was pray, and pray she did. She prayed for protection, for someone to come and rescue her. This didn’t work, she was alone, no one was watching out for her, or over her, and she was alone. Alone lying on the ground, blood on her face, her clothes ripped and the pain, oh the searing pain. It was too much to bear.  Some people can just be so cruel, not having a care in the world for anyone else’s feelings but their own – or caring what pain they inflict on people as long as they get their pleasure!  But how does anyone get pleasure from giving other people pain? I will never understand that.

In the following months all Sally could think was why her? Why did no one stand up for me? Why did no one protect me? Where was God in all this?

Sally turned to alcohol to take away her pain – but this didn’t help any, she just woke up in the morning with a very sore head and the pain and memories where still in her head and her heart.   She needed a break, she needed someone or something to fix her.

A chance encounter brought her into the life of Tom.  The night she met him, she told him everything. Sally don’t know why she did this, but afterwards it felt like she was being guided to meet him and talk to him. Tom listened to her and reassured her all would be ok and he would do all he could to help her. And he did, he found her professional help, put her in touch with people who became good friends and life was starting to look up.

For a couple of years Sally was able to live, but still had all the memories and the nightmares, but she was still able to live – she travelled to other countries and even her faith was getting back on track – she never lost her love for God  - but she lost trust in him  - where was he when she needed him?  But she still went to Church, because that’s all she knew what to do, it’s what she had been brought up to do, and it’s what she knew – and it helped, slowly but surely life was getting better.

Yeah life was going well, then she moved countries due to work but after arriving and starting her new job, the company folded and she was unemployed again. She had no friends in this new place, no church family, nothing for her - ok that’s not strictly true, she did have friends and family but they were not near her - yes they were a phone call away but there was no one there to give her a hug.

Sally’s depression was starting to set in again, she felt alone and useless – and then she met someone, she met Bailey who became a friend to her, a good friend. They had fun and Baily was giving Sally a reason to live again, but then her health took a dive and she was diagnosed with Cancer.  When this news was given to her, all Sally could think was why me? What did I do to deserve all the crap that life has thrown at me? Why did God let this happen?

This is why Sally was sitting at her kitchen table late on a Saturday night contemplating on whether to end her life or not. But now there was hope, a light had come on in her dark world – she could move on again – she was moving on before but then the C-Bomb hit and all spiralled out of control again, but there had been good times before that and she needed to hand onto that. God was there, ok these things happened to her, but she survived the horrible ordeal, she had made new friends, she had got through the darkness once, she could get through it again.

Sally knew she needed to focus on the positives and remember the good things that happened to her, relive the good memories, learn how to not fall apart during the tough times.  She had to believe what her family and friends told her, she was a great person, she did have talents, and she did have much to give. 

Sally had not always been able to think this straight, when the dark times hit, they really hit and Sally found it hard to get out of them.  This is when the pills and alcohol seemed to come out on to the table.  This was the umpteenth time Sally had walked this path, would this be the last time, and would she go through with it?


No, once Sally got off the phone with Penny, she stood up, took the bottle of Jack Daniels, took the lid off and poured it down the sink.  Why? Because there was hope. There was a light. There was a greater reason to carry on and live and Sally did the only thing she could do, she got down on her knees and prayed. She wasn’t on her own anymore – she wasn’t fighting by herself. She could get through anything now, she was not on her own anymore. There is hope. 

Flash Fiction: So Much Promise

“Such a shame. That boy had so much promise”.  Shaking her head, she remembered some of the times she had seen him in the swimming pool.  He was like a dolphin.

Simon swam so fast and barely caused a ripple in the water.  He was a graceful swimmer.  The first time Jan saw him swim, she was amazed and laughed to her friend Jill and said, “is that a boy or a fish?!”  Jan would not have been surprised if when Simon came out of the water, he had gills instead of arms!

By the age of 10, Sion had already won so many medals at school events, galas etc. and he was a sure thing for the Olympics and Commonwealth games when he reached the correct age.  His whole town were proud of him even his fellow school mates – they held him in awe but also felt a bit jealous of him too. But not on wished harm on him.

Why Jan was so devastated when she saw what happened and heard the fateful news.   Jan was walking down the high street, listening to her music thinking about the week ahead, the awful week ahead, when she heard a blood curling scream and tires screeching and burning the road.  Jan ran to see what happened and saw a motorbike lying on the road with the motorcyclist lying on the road a few yards away, his dead black eyes staring back at Jan. He wasn’t wearing a helmet. An error.

Jan nearly vomited at the site before her eyes, so turned towards the Motorcycle to help her focus again. This was when she  wished she had never done so, because they was a huge lump under the bike, and after a closer look, Jan noticed that the lump was not a lump, but it was a boy.  And lying a behind him was an arm – a detached arm.  Again Jan couldn’t not bear this. She turned away again.

Jan was wondering to herself who the boy was, and whether he was alive or dead?  It was then she noticed a woman on the ground crying, totally heartbroken and unable to breathe. No one was with her, so Jan walked towards her, and realised this devastated mother was Mrs Nicholson the mother of Sam, the dolphin swimmer. 

So many thoughts were swimming around Jan’s head – “why this? why him? Why wee Simon? Why Mrs Nicholson, why her son?”  Jan thought Simon was dead.  She didn’t know what to do, but she did the one thing she would want someone to do if she was in Mrs Nicholson’s shoes, she got down beside Mrs Nicholson and put her arm around her. 

The tears were streaming down her face and the face of Mrs Nicholson, and the screams coming from the women beside her were awful, but eventually they stopped and all Jan could feel beside her was the shuddering of this women sitting beside her, curled in against her, learning on her for comfort and support.  Jan was frozen.

Jan looked up and saw that everyone was standing on the side of the road, watching everything unfold. No one was speaking, just standing and staring.  Jan could not believe this and was about to lash out at them calling them heartless when the sirens of the ambulance came blaring towards her.  Help, at last, she thought. Thank Goodness.

There wasn’t just one ambulance, there were two. One for each victim.  The ambulances stopped and the paramedics rushed out, four of them, two ran towards Simon while two ran towards the cyclist.  

After being with the cyclist for two minutes, Jan was surprised to see him being rolled onto the stretcher - they don’t usually do that so quickly unless the person is dead.  Jan didn’t know what to think, she thought awful for the cyclists parents, but her mind was brought back to Simon very quickly when Mrs Nicholson let a big scream out of her again. Jan turned back towards her quickly expecting for her first dears to be confirmed, that Simon, the dolphin boy was also dead.  But she was to be proved wrong, because Mrs Nicholson had a huge smile on her face, Simon wasn’t dead.


“He’s going to be alright, I have my wee boy back, my wee swimmer. I can’t wait to see him back in the water. I thought I had lost him forever”. Jan smiled back at her, but was also thinking, what about Simon’s arm, does she not see it is not attached to his body anymore. What’s going to happen when she realises that Simon, will not be able to be her wee dolphin boy anymore, as his arm was no longer part of him.  Poor Simon, only 10, and he had such promise as a swimmer and now he would never be able to swim again like he used too.