The day after

So as I have told you on the 14th January I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) - so what went through my head that day and following days?

I felt numb and asked questions like why me? what does this mean? how do I come back from this? can I still work? Will I ever see again?

After I found out I did not tell many people - just family and a few close friends whom I know where worried and praying. If anyone rang I told them but on 15th January I was more open to telling people - it is best being honest about these things than not as people would find out anyway, and also the more people who know the more people praying.

Two of my friends came and saw me that night to talk and support me and my family  - it was just so good to see them and again I will say that during this time the support for me from people was amazing.

I was trying to process everything I was told that day, and decided the best thing to do was take the time for it to sink in and take one day at a time. Did not need or want people rushing in me to things like work etc. I was not ready for work as eyesight and balance still not great - what my body needed was rest. And what I needed was support which I knew I was and would be getting.

The next day I woke up, the 15th January I was ok during the day. My mind was being kept busy as I was out with a friend for lunch and talked over things with her, but then in evening I hit a low and I was not able to process the MS and was waiting for the realisation I had a chronic illness to hit me like a brick wall. But my friend did say one thing which I had to hold on to "you are brilliant, you see"  - meaning I had the ability to get through this.

The neurologist did say that he thought I had the illness from 2006 but wrongly diagnosed a few times, and after thinking back through those years, a lot of my problems made sense to me:

• Unexplained chest pains
• Fatigue (feeling bad because did not have the same energy as other people)
• Vertigo (had three bouts of this between 2006  and 2012)
• Urinary Tract Infections (four between 2012 and 2013)
• Depression 
• Stiff Joints
• Hand tremors
• Headaches

Suppose you can say out of the negative that was positive - realising there was a reason behind my crazy health. My friend advised me to find the positive in everything. Trying to.