D-Day

14th January - D-Day, the day of being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. My appointment was not until 4pm in the afternoon so I had the whole day of waiting  - a whole day of worrying about what was wrong with me, if anything. I was opening my neurologist would say MRI was clear and I was OK,  and itwas just a viral infection and I would be better within a few weeks.

I woke up feeling nervous and sick but knowing how I might feel one of my friends came in the morning to visit me and keep me calm. It was good to have that distraction and not think about the afternoon and what it may bring. I am thankful for all support for my friends and family from 15th December onwards, its been amazing.

Lunchtime came but was feeling too queasy to eat. Finally the time came to leave for hospital - we all went - my parents and me. We arrived in good time as car parking at Antrim Area Hospital is a nightmare. We sat in the waiting room and finally my neurologist came out and called me in - so up we get and in we go and sit down we do!

The neurologist starts off asking me how I have been, have my symptoms improved and doing all the tests he did in hospital - checking the sensation/feeling and balance etc.  Then he showed me my MRI scans - I saw my brain - I have proof I have a brain. But it is a not a pretty sight as it is covered in white spots (lesions)... all over my brain where these spots, was heartbreaking to see.

He showed us the brain as a whole and then sowed us it in sections - like the way you would cut an apple slice by slice... this showed us the areas of the brain most affected by the lesions. The left hand side had more than the right hence the reason I went numb and why I have trouble with memory and finding the right words when speaking. However apparently its meant to make you less organised - but am still very organised person so least one thing not been affected.

I had lesions on the back of the brain and this is what caused the eye sight problems to occur - the double and blurred vision. The symptoms go when the lesions decrease, but unfortunately more lesions can grow.

After we were shown my brain, the neurologist told me that I had Multiple Sclerosis - I was shocked and felt I had been punched in the stomach. I looked at my parents and they looked torn as well - but not as shocked. I heard later on that they and my sister had come to the conclusion that MS is what was wrong with me. They didn't tell me as did not want to worry me - which is fair enough.

Though they kind of guessed, it still did not take away the pain and reality of my diagnosis and that I would now be living with a chronic illness the rest of my life. We had to go home and process all the information and learn how to live with this individually and as a family. 14th January was a hard day but at least now we had answers and a foundation to build on.