MS: Relapsing

For the past couple of weeks I have been relapsing in my MS – pains, numbness,  low moods, hot sweats, on steroids, needed to use a stick a while – life hasn’t felt too good.

But I kept going. I went out, I did things. I went to work and then at the weekend my body decided enough was enough, it needed rest. So I gave in and have it rest. Should learn that I need to do this at the start of relapses instead of in the middle of them. 

The thing is when your body needs rest your mind doesn’t know when to shut off – and you are sitting at home, resting but feeling sorry for yourself – feeling lonely.

Why do our minds and bodies never hold a meeting and decide to behave at the same time?

I am ok on my own most of the time, but then like everyone else I slump and go into the ground.  I watch TV but it doesn’t always help.  I read but it’s not always a good distraction due to concentration issues.  I colour in, that does help a bit.  I eat but that makes me feel fat.

I am off work with no energy so can’t really go out, but then I have nowhere really to go to.  My body says rest.  As a Christian I feel I should always be content with my situation but it’s hard to feel happy all the time.  I go turn to God but then the devil likes to come and play.  He tells me lies.  Tells me nobody cares about me, tells me I will always be alone, tells me that I am stupid, tells me I am a  failure and I am weak and no one cares about me. 

My mind chooses to believe the lies at times – what am I doing? I am letting the circumstances control me, instead of looking at the big picture.  I am loved – loved by God and also loved by people.  I am alone but I am not alone.

So what do you guys do when you are in the low moods? How do you pick yourself up?

Maybe I need more hobbies. I love writing but more recently this has been hard to do – my muse has gone on holiday.

The best things to do and it is the hardest is to focus on what is true. I am loved and I am doing ok. 

Yes we are doing ok.  Think the key is to stop trying to over live, all we can do is love one day at a time, which can be hard to do but it is the key.  And remember, you are doing ok.