Life: Singleness

Singleness can be a good thing but it can also be very hard – seeing all your friends partnered up, some with children and some with no children. It is hard seeing them happy – having a companion to do life with. But what we have to realise is that marriage can be hard and bringing up children is no piece of cake either.

So is singleness better or is marriage better? It is not really a contest, though sometimes when married people always talk about their husbands it can be hard e.g. “I better go as my husband has made a cup of tea for me” - well why rub it in – those comments can sting. Us single people can be very sensitive about the issue.

There are benefits in both being single and also in being married.

According to the Bible being single is a gift – a present from God to us. Well, sometimes I wish I could return the gift of singleness – but maybe I should just accept that the season of life that I am in at the minute – singledom – and be grateful for this git   but its not easy to be grateful for a gift that you don’t necessarily want - it can be difficult to enjoy a present that is not what you asked for – like a kid at Christmas who asked for the latest games console but got a science kit instead!!

Something we need to remember is that while we may be single, in Jesus we have the greatest friend who is always with us.  Sometimes it is hard to see this when we are craving earthly companionship.

Some people say that if you are single you are incomplete without “the one”, but we have to remember that cliché or not, we do already have the ultimate “one” – we are Christ’s bride – our identity is in him and not in having a boyfriend, a husband or children. So instead of a Christian woman saying “I am single,” we should say “I am a Christian who just happens to be single” -so putting our identity before our circumstances.

Singleness feels so hard in a world that promote couples and in churches it is mostly about couples and families – hardly any mention of those who are on their own – whether they are single because of never being married, or single because their husband/wife has died or single because their husband/wife has left them.

The saying “You can feel lonely in a crowd” becomes a total reality when you walk into church or a party with friends or family alone – but in these times we need to remember that God is with us and he is not unfaithful to any of his promises and He promises to always be there for us – so we all need to sit back and let him do so – whether we are single or married, have kids or are childless.