Sexuality generates energy, creativity and beauty. It's a gift from God that we're invited to receive and enjoy.
People often find that when they are immersed in a different culture, what is initially strange becomes familiar, and what was once familiar begins to seem strange. Experience in other cultures can help open our eyes to the uniqueness of what we take as "just normal" in our own world.
Culture provides the words, practices, sounds, buildings, musical instruments and so on, with which we make our religious lives.
God did create humans male and female. But sin has influenced every dimension of human life, even sexual development in utero.
Being born male or female is a burden insofar as sex is a factor in social inequality around crime, violence, income, body-image issues and so on. But minimizing the difference between sexes seems to belittle the importance of human reproduction and the delight that men and women find in relationship with one another.
As our minds are transformed, we will craft social constructs-words, phrases, concepts and systems-that help us live well in God's world.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 is helpful: "The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be" (The Message).
We are known by God more truly than we will ever know ourselves.
Swept along with the development of the societies in which they live, however, Christians have come to believe that what a person does sexually represents more than just adherence to or violation of God's law; it determines the kind of person you are.
Many humans have capacity for sexual feelings toward both sexes, though women report greater fluidity than men.
Sexuality, including both the good and the bad, is better understood in light of our beloved created nature, not in light of sexual desire. Identity comes from God, not sexual feelings.
The Christian religion is grounded in cultural disturbance, a rattling of what people take for granted.
"Homosexuality" is a sexual identity that links sexual desire to sexual identity; who you want sexually is who you are socially.
Behaviour is never isolated from context.
When we root after the wrong things, we miss the peace and rest of a mature relationship with God, and whether or not we intend to, we deny that peace to others.
John Wesley described holiness as love of God and neighbour, which is Jesus' description of the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:34-40).
Being a lover, in the fullest sense, is an important part of human sexuality.
"The Holy Spirit's work within us leads us to conformity to the person of Jesus Christ. Neither should be expressed without the other."
After sexual trauma such as assault, for instance, a person may find healing in their emotions, which links to their relationships, which links to behaviours, thoughts and feelings.
Loving Jesus means receiving many blessings, but also sharing in Christ's sufferings.
The peace and stillness doesn't come from being perfect, but from loving and being loved by God and neighbour.
Whether humans are brand new in the Garden of Eden, or poor, sick and politically dominated in the Roman Empire, God responds to us with compassion and love.
Therefore desire, even sexual desire, is a venue for grace.
Sexual attractions are feelings, desires, longings or arousals. Sexual orientation is the dominant direction of sexual attractions, whether toward those of the same sex, other sex, both or neither. Sexual identity is a chosen social label that corresponds (or doesn't correspond) with attraction or orientation.
We need to set a place at the table for people with conflicted desires, inconsistent behaviour and complicated sexual journeys. And if we really receive them, we'll realize that they are us.
Instead of living more deeply into what we already have, we're encouraged to believe fulfilment is just a purchase, relationship or experience away.
But even if a marriage lacks great sex for a while-even for a long while-it can still exhibit sexual holiness. Take, for instance, a marriage in which one person is healing from past sexual trauma, or is assaulted after marriage in a way that impacts his or her sexuality. This may influence the frequency and quality of sexual intercourse, but the love expressed in the relationship may be healing and restorative. Or consider a couple with young children: the combination of pregnancy, nursing hormones and fatigue may have squelched the sexual energy of the wife, the husband or both. Neither spouse may be sexually fulfilled for an entire season of the marriage, but love is abounding.
Sexual knowing is part of sexual holiness when people come to more deeply recognize, understand and take responsibility in their relationships to self, others and God.
Sex is more than contact between body parts; it is contact between human beings.
Practicing sex, over and over in the course of a marriage, makes plain that sexual intimacy is not an opportunity to get, have, or do a person or an experience. Instead, it is an opportunity to give and receive love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). The fruit of the Spirit ripens in the body.
Sexuality is all about reactions-whether in behaviour, thoughts or feelings-that can be heated, volatile or unexpected. Good sex arouses the body, to be sure, but it also awakens emotion, hope and memory.
Sexual holiness includes receiving and caring for all that sex arouses in both people over time. For most couples, this demonstrates the paradox of suffering and blessing being simultaneously present in the life of holiness.
A person may have suspicions cast against them as to why they remain single.
God's love is always available to us, and that we are always able to reach out to God and to our neighbours.
Our identities are permanently altered by love and grace, not by sexual sin or sexual virtue.
In reality, adoption into God's family is the real deal.
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